Not All Dogs Are Good, But All Are Better Than People

I work for a pet groomer at a veterinarian. We have one client with a Pomeranian who is, to put it honestly, the most vicious and unmanageable little s*** I have ever worked on. She hates everyone, including her owner, and will bite and scratch and try to snarl at anyone that touches her.

Our vet informs us that there is nothing psychologically wrong with the dog as far as they can tell (she isn’t a rescue with a troubled history); she’s just an a**hole.

Over the years, I have gotten used to working on this little turd, so I am the go-to groomer for her. I don extra-thick gloves and wear thick fabric on my arms to deal with the little monster.

The owner is usually present to try to calm her down, but it doesn’t do much as I trim the fur and brush what’s left.

Customer: “You’re so good at handling [Dog]! I know she’s a handful, but I do love her in her own weird way.”

Me: “I totally get it. She’s cute when she’s not… well… doing this.”

Customer: “How are you so good at handling her?”

Me: “I used to be a waitress at a family restaurant near a church. Your dog is nothing compared to an entitled grandma who just found out we ran out of potato salad and wants to speak to the manager.”

Customer: “Oh… oh, my.”

Me: “They snarled more, too.”