Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

All of our stories, starting with the newest!

Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

, , | Right | December 10, 2009

(Note: I am standing under a sign that says ‘Gluten-Free Mousse’)

Customer: “Is the gluten-free mousse gluten-free?”

Me: “You mean the ‘gluten-free mousse’?”

Customer: “Yeah. Is it gluten-free?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Are you sure? How do you know?”

Me: “Because the sign says it’s gluten-free.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, then. I’ll just have a bottle of water.”

Me: “No mousse?”

Customer: “No, you can never be too sure about what has gluten in it!”


This story is part of our Ice Cream roundup!

Want to read the first story? Click here!

Want to see the roundup? Click here!

The Devil Is In The Retailers

, , | Right | December 10, 2009

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “Do you have this product here?” *points to a video game in our ad*

Me: “Certainly, ma’am. Just take that aisle down here and turn right. Near the doors are the video games.”

Customer: “Oh, all right! Thank you.”

(Shortly after, I get a call about TVs so head towards that section. After helping another guest out, the first guest shows up.)

Me: “Hello again, ma’am! Want me to show you where that game is you were looking for?”

Customer: “How did you do that?”

Me: “Do what, ma’am?”

Customer: “How did you appear like that? Magic?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I just–”

Customer: “It’s magic! You kids and your devil ways!”

Me: “I promise it’s not magic, ma’am. I just took a shortcut.”

Customer: “Through Hell! Demon!” *storms out*


This story is part of our Biblically Bonkers roundup!

Read the next Biblically Bonkers roundup story!

Read the Biblically Bonkers roundup!


This story is included in our Videogame Store roundup.

Click here to go to the next story!

Click here to go to the roundup!

Bagging A Deal

, , , | Right | December 9, 2009

Me: “Hello. Just so you know, with your purchase you can get any of these movies for $5.99. You save–”

Customer: “No! You know what? I am sick and tired of you people offering me things. I can’t come to the d*** mall without getting offered a deal. If I want something I will tell you, and you will give it to me. Understand?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Here’s your purchase.”

Customer: “Aren’t you going to offer me a bag?”

Over(bear)ing Demand

, , | Right | December 9, 2009

(A customer in his late 20s walks into the store looking confused.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “My niece is asking for something. I don’t know if it exists or not, but she asked for a rainbow-colored bear that smells like fruit.”

Me: “Actually, sir, I know exactly what you are talking about.”

(I lead him to the girls’ section where there is a new toy bear in stock. It’s multicolored and is scented like bubble gum.)

Me: “Here you go, sir!”

Customer: “Oh, is this all you have?”

Me: “Well, there are other bears but this is the only scented one.”

Customer: “I’m just not sure this is it.”

Me: “I can assure you, sir, this is the only rainbow-colored and fruit-scented bear toy in the entire store.”


This story is part of our Rainbow roundup!

Read the next Rainbow roundup story!

Read the Rainbow roundup!

Questionable Intelligence

, , | Right | December 9, 2009

Me: “Good afternoon. Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, can you tell me what room is beside 106?”

Me: “Um… room 107?”

Customer: “That’s the one! Thanks so much!” *hangs up*