Most Jobs Are Just Smoke And Mirrors

Me: “Know what else I hate?”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “People who vape, and then look down on people who smoke.”

Coworker: “I was hoping you’d stop after the first half of that sentence.”

Me: “Well, maybe I’m speaking from a position of ignorance here, as somebody who does neither one, but they seem pretty much the same to me. You’re still putting something d**k-shaped in your mouth and blowing gas through it.”

Coworker: “I think the difference is that with smoking, you’re paying a rich, fat, old, white man to suffocate you slowly over 40 years.”

Me: “So it’s the same thing as having a job?”

(Pause.)

Coworker: “Dude. High five.”