Mom Is Talking Baloney About Cannoli

(My sister and I have bought a house together, but my in-law sublet requires a bit of renovation that I did myself. I take my sweet time getting them done because I have difficulty motivating myself. A few weeks after officially moving in with my sister, I go to visit my mother, and after hanging out for a bit, she springs this on me:)

Mom: “You know, [Sister’s] boyfriend—“ *who lives with us* “—is very upset you ate his last cannoli. If you’re all going to be living together, you need to have appropriate boundaries.”

Me: “[Boyfriend] had cannolis?”

Mom: “Yes, and he was very upset you ate them.”

Me: “I didn’t eat them.”

Mom: “Figure this out between yourselves. I don’t appreciate being dragged into this. You’re all adults.”

(A little while later, a thought occurs to me…)

Me: “Are you sure he wasn’t talking about the donut I ate this morning? He had a box, and I asked if I could have one, and he said sure. It wasn’t the last one, and if he was saving it, he should have said something.”

Mom: “I don’t know, but you should really apologize.”

(I decide to text my sister’s boyfriend to see what’s going on.)

Me: “Hey, [Boyfriend]. What cannoli?”

Boyfriend: “?”

Me: “My mom’s saying it really upset you that I ate your last cannoli.”

Sister: “Hey, it’s [Sister]; I’m taking over texting for [Boyfriend] since he’s driving. What cannoli?”

Me: “That’s what I want to know! What did [Boyfriend] say to Mom?”

Sister: “The only thing [Boyfriend] said to Mom was, ‘[My Name] would have moved in a lot sooner if she knew how often I cook.’”

(I run the text conversation by my mother.)

Mom: “Hmm… Maybe that is what he said.”

(Later on, I get home. My sister’s boyfriend greets me with, “I don’t even know what the f*** a cannoli is!” I bought him a box of them the next day.)