If You Choose To Be An Ugly Person, You’ll Look Ugly No Matter What

In 1987, I worked at a clothing store that carries plus sizes. A regular had been coming into the store and spreading her particular brand of misery for at least a year before I even started.

She was the type of person who appeared to love nothing more than making someone else feel terrible. She was an expert at all the tricks: the demeaning remark delivered just loudly enough for the subject to hear; the eye roll or rude gesture not quite out of view of the target; the venomous comment under the guise of “just being honest.”

You name it, she knew it.

And if she wasn’t in the mood for games, she didn’t play them and went straight to just plain nasty. I watched her say to a woman:

Customer: “Oh, you poor thing, you’re as big as my husband’s truck! Can you even shop here?”

She reduced a lot of customers to shamed silence and a handful to tears, causing them to leave the store. Even her husband, who seemed to be a kind man, and who was generous about giving her everything she wanted, wasn’t spared.

She had a favorite story about the time she wanted a Mercedes-Benz convertible, and her husband was so stupid that he’d steered her to one that was a medium-green color because his color blindness made him think it was dark tan. She behaved as if his inability to distinguish colors was a choice and not a genetic accident, and she mocked him often for it, ignoring that he was the man had who bought and paid for that nice convertible.

Customer: “It’s a good thing he makes big money because it’s the only thing about him that’s big.”

She said this while holding her hand up in a loose fist, wiggling her pinky finger.

She was truly one of the ugliest human beings I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. No one liked her. I hated her.

She came in about two weeks before Christmas, and between being rude to either staff or other customers, she told us:

Customer: “My idiot husband has finally found a decent Christmas gift for me; a month-long cruise from Florida to Washington! We’re going to go all around the Caribbean, through the Panama Canal, and then back up along the coasts of Central America and the US! The cruise starts five days before Christmas! I’m going to take home the stuff I’ve bought today, consider my needs and holes in my wardrobe, and come back in a few days to pick out clothing I want for my trip. I’ll put it on hold and then send him in to get it, and he can give it to me on Christmas morning along with what had better be some good gifts!”

As part of our clothing for Christmas that year, we had gotten a big shipment of blouses that came in about fifteen colors. They were easy to care for, flattered nearly every body style, could be dressed up or down, and were a great price. They sold like crazy.

When the regular came back a few days later, she picked out one in every color that she found acceptable. She was very picky about the colors she wore.

Customer: “Nice women never wear strong colors or very dark ones. Nice women never wear black; they have a dress in navy blue for funerals, wear medium grey or tan as their neutral color, and choose feminine colors or pastels for any colored items. You really should wear more appropriate colors for women; the black and the bold colors you’re wearing look ugly and make you look sleazy.”

She had about eight of the blouses, but then she decided to double up on some of the colors so she had one to wash and one to wear. When she was done, she had a dozen on hold. She added some nice dresses for dinner, more casual clothing for around the ship and visiting ports of call, and really casual clothing for lounging and relaxing.

It all went on our hold rack; there was so much stuff that we had to hang it in separate groups and label each one. Normally, at such a busy time of year, we won’t hold something overnight, but we did it, not as a courtesy to her, but to her husband. We all knew he’d be in the next day to buy it.

I was working at the cash register that day, and everything had to be entered by hand (no scanners yet), so those of us with good ten-key skills spent a lot of time at the registers during the Christmas season. I kept looking over at our hold rack between customers and thinking about how awful that regular was.

When one of those blouses in her size went on the return rack to go back on the floor, if it was a color she hadn’t picked for herself, I moved it to the hold rack right next to her items. It was busy, I was in a hurry, and wow, all I can figure is maybe I put things too close together? It would be terrible if some items got… swapped.

Later in my shift, a very nice woman asked me about that group of items.

Nice Customer: “Is the lilac one available? You have it in three colors, and the only other one in the store in my size is emerald green, but I really need a lilac dress for a wedding.”

I grabbed it and suggested that she go try it on. Often, even things of the same size don’t fit the same way. I was in a hurry and just put the green one in with the holds. I imagine the lilac one worked for that woman since it wasn’t in the store later. Maybe I rang it up and didn’t even notice it?

When I next went to work, all of that stuff was gone. I asked if the regular’s husband had come in, and was told he had. We didn’t see her again until February when she came in to return the blouses and the dress, fuming that some of the colors had been wrong.

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t do the return. It’s been over thirty days, and the items have clearly been both worn and washed multiple times. There are even food stains on the skirt of the dress.”

She tried to make a scene even though she knew our return policy, and she knew she’d used her one big exception to it the year before on a day when our district manager was in the store. Our district manager had explained that she’d approve it once, as a special courtesy, but it would not happen again, and she’d be noting that not just for us but for the staff in every store in the area.

When the customer realized she wasn’t going to get her way, she shoved everything back in the bag, and declared loudly as she started toward the door:

Customer: “You are rude and insensitive girls. Someone absolutely ruined my Christmas, and I don’t think any of you care!”

I think she was right.