If Only, Ma’am, If Only

I work at a big store in the gardening section. I can’t lift anything over ten pounds because I’ve recently had shoulder surgery. There’s one coworker that no one likes because he doesn’t do anything and is rude to his coworkers.

Old Lady: “Excuse me, dear. Can you help me with these cement blocks?”

Me: “I can certainly get one of my coworkers to help you. [Rude Coworker]—”

Rude Coworker: “No. Don’t even think about it. You do it yourself. You’re just being lazy.”

Old Lady: “Young man, if you were my grandson, I’d put you over my knee and smack your butt until it bled!”

Trying not to laugh, I found another coworker to help the old woman, and she did it without complaint. I later heard that the old woman did complain to a supervisor and my coworker was written up for his laziness and rudeness.