If Anyone Was Going To End The Human Race, It Was Cats

(My roommate is sick. Almost without fail, when he gets sick, I get sick. Unfairly, the reverse isn’t also true. As a result, I’ve become super cautious every time he’s ill in an effort to avoid it myself. He’s currently sitting on the couch with one of our cats cuddled up next to him, doling out pets and receiving many licks in return.)

Me: *fake pouting* “Aw. I wanted Jellybean to come and cuddle with me.”

Roommate: “Oh, he will, once he’s ready to spread my disease.”

Me: “Oh, God. You’ve turned him into a vector.”

Roommate: *now cooing at the cat* “What an eager vector! Are you a willing participant in germ warfare? Yes, you are! Who’s the cutest little bioweapon?”

Me: “STAY AWAY FROM ME!”