I Smell Foul-Play

My wife and I were staying at a decent four-star hotel. The service was lovely except for the fact that all the workers seemed to wear the same gods-awful perfume. It wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, but my wife is deathly allergic to artificial scents. It’s not “getting a runny nose and watery eyes” allergic, it’s “her throat closes up” allergic.

I made a note to the lady at the front desk to put down “no heavy perfumes” on their notes for us as guests in the system, and to notify the rest of the staff. The front desk lady was very kind and put it in, and she even called up the manager to let him know. He was also very nice.

We came home from a day exploring the city. Considering we live in a rural town, it was wonderful. The desk lady that checked us in greeted us when we came back and told us to have a wonderful evening. We told her the same and retired to our room.

When we walked in, the stench of the workers’ perfume was everywhere, and me being the concerned wife I am, I dragged my wife out, handed her the inhaler, and gave her a filtration mask. That wasn’t enough and we went down to the lobby. The receptionist saw my wife and dialed an ambulance immediately.

Meanwhile, the afternoon cleaning lady came down. She saw my wife and said, “Oh, bravo. What good effects makeup. Your wife is a good actress. I hope you enjoy our signature perfume; the room is non-refundable.”

When the ambulance got there, cops also came.

I don’t know what happened to the cleaning lady, but when we came back last month, a good two years after this story took place, the kind front desk lady had been promoted to manager and offered us a discounted visit due to our last visit. We bought her some candy and enjoyed our perfume-disasterless vacation.