Her Next Call Should Be To The Optometrist

I work in a call center for a well-known cable/broadband provider. An older woman calls about her TV not working properly.

Client: “I cannot get a picture on my TV.”

Me: “Is it just black, or are there some numbers or text on the screen?”

Client: “No picture, but I can see the clock telling me what time it is.”

Me: “Okay. There should be some buttons on the side to change the channel or input. Do you see those buttons?”

Client: “I don’t see anything about the channel, but there are buttons.”

Me: “What buttons do you see?”

Client: “Well, I see ‘Time’, ‘Start/Stop’, and ‘Defrost’…”

Me: “Ma’am, are you looking at your microwave?”

Client: “…Oh, dear. I hope not.”