Gossip And Wine: The Fuel Of The Soccer Mom

, , , , , | Friendly | November 20, 2017

(My partner and I are both working night shifts as we are younger with no kids and night shifts are well-paid. As a result of a good income, we are able to move to a nicer house in a neighbourhood populated mainly by families with 9-to-5 working husbands and “soccer moms.” The nice elderly couple next door tells us those moms do nothing else but gossip and that they have already started to spread rumors about us. One day, we hear a group of those women talking about us in the adjacent garden. It is clear that they haven’t noticed us sitting in our garden.)

Neighbour: “They moved here two months ago and I’ve never seen them awake before one pm! Never seen them going to work! And they own two cars and a motorbike! How can they afford it?”

Me: *loud enough for all to hear* “THAT’S BECAUSE WE BOTH WORK AS SUPERVISORS AT A NIGHT SECURITY FIRM! IT’S A HARD JOB, BUT IT PAYS WAY BETTER THAN DRIVING UP AND DOWN THE NEIGHBORHOOD WITH A MINIVAN FULL OF KIDS OR DRINKING WINE WHILE GOSSIPING!”

(Silence. The elderly couple later told us nobody dares to speak a single word about us anymore.)


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