God Opens Windows (But Will He Teach You How To Use It?)

I had a woman from the Midwest call us on a Monday morning. Over the weekend, her church, which had a 100-plus-system computer lab, had voted to make her the new administrator.

She had never touched a computer before.

Caller: “How do I use this Windows thing?”

Me: “Ma’am, we just made the antivirus software. Teaching you how to use Windows is not in the support agreement.”

Caller: *Angry and demanding* “I want to speak with your manager!”

There was an hour-long back-and-forth between my manager and the customer.

We were never sure how it ended. For years, I would ask him occasionally, and he’d give me a different answer every time. My favorite was:

Manager: “I picked up a Windows For Dummies book and shipped it to her.”