“Eff You” To You, Too!

This is my favorite funny workplace story. I used to sit opposite a colleague who was very polite and always friendly and proper. One time, she was in a call with the on-site technician of some location, discussing getting in contact with one of their users, a lady of Asian descent, to check if she still had some issue.

The lady in question was called [User] Fu. But, hearing only my colleague’s end of the call (and not paying particular attention, anyway, as I had other stuff to do,) I did not know that. What I DID hear was that this always polite colleague of mine told someone on the phone, in a conversational tone:

Colleague: “So, then, eff you.”

Maybe you can imagine my shock at hearing this colleague, apparently, swear at someone on the phone. From the incredulous look I shot her, she realized in an instant what her spelling of the end user’s last name sounded like, and two things happened.

She became redder than a lobster, and she started laughing so hard that she actually had to mute the phone (somehow managing to tell the user she needed to “update her notes for a moment” without bursting).

This was not helped by the fact that, realizing the actual situation and seeing her shade of red, I myself couldn’t stop giggling.

This story got told to new colleagues several times during the time we worked together.