Don’t Stay Stationery At Christmas

I am working in a call center on Christmas Day.

Caller: “Oh, my God, someone picked up!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we are keeping the lines open for this morning.”

Caller: “But why would anyone need to call the helpline of a stationery store on Christmas Day?!”

Me: “Well, forgive me for pointing it out, ma’am, but you have.”

Caller: “I was just calling to see if anyone was actually in today! I don’t actually have any issues, though. What time do y’all close today?”

Me: “The lines close at 1:00 pm Central Time, ma’am.”

Caller: “That’s twenty minutes from now?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Caller: “What happens if someone calls you at 12:59 pm with a complicated problem?”

Me: “Then we need to stay on the line to fix it.”

Caller: “Then I do have an issue! I estimate that it will take about nineteen minutes and fifty seconds to fix. Can you help me?”

Me: *Smiling* “I appreciate the gesture, ma’am, but really, I don’t mind—”

Caller: “No! I have an issue! My… um… my printer I got from you guys! It’s busted. I need help printing my… uh… my Christmas shopping list!”

Me: *Laughing* “You want to print your Christmas shopping list at 12:40 pm on Christmas Day?”

Caller: *Also laughing* “It’s for next year’s Christmas! I’m very organized!”

And so, taking the caller at their word like we’re trained to do, I help her fix a “printer issue”. Every time it seems like we’re going too fast, she accidentally presses the wrong button. “Oh, no, I did it wrong again.” Finally, at 1:01 pm…

Caller: “Oh, my, look at the time! I need to go and make sure the grandkids are safe. You hurry on home to your family now, y’hear?” *Click*

Thanks, crazy printer grandma! You were my Christmas miracle!