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Truly Blind Faith

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Learning | October 28, 2013

(I am in a gym swimming class; one of my classmates has autism. Everyone is nice and loves her but one of my fellow classmates.)

Classmate #1: “I hate these d*** retards! If I ran the world I would make all the retards and gays go to a special camp where I would shoot them down daily. Then there would be less of them in the world!”

Me: “You mean like the Jews and others in the Holocaust?”

Classmate: “Butt out! I was not talking to you. Besides, that didn’t happen.”

Me: “Your sister is a teen mom right? Would you like it if I said that all teen moms should be shot down?”

Classmate: “What! No, that’s horrible! She’s didn’t do anything wrong! Why would someone do something bad like that to someone who didn’t do anything wrong? Also you should not talk about teen moms that way; you might upset someone.”

Me: “For one: I know a teen mom who is a great mother and also my mom was one too. I have no problem with them long as they take care of their children. Also, you say they didn’t do anything wrong? Think about it; did those people you talk about did anything wrong?”

Classmate: “They were cursed by God!”

Me: “I am walking away before I punch you…”

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Let’s Get Physic-al

| Saint Paul, MN, USA | Learning | October 28, 2013

(I am an 11th grader taking AP/IB Physics. My physics teacher has a great sense of humor and is very chill about everything. He likes to space out due dates and test dates away from big school events.)

Teacher: “I’m just glad that the AP Physics test isn’t the day after the prom this year!”

(All the students murmur in agreement.)

Teacher: “I don’t even want to know what you guys are doing after prom.”

Class Clown: “Studying physics!”

Teacher: “Oh, I’m sure you are. Studying PHYSIQUES, no doubt!”

Obviously Hasn’t Tried General Tso’s Chicken

| NY, USA | Learning | October 28, 2013

(Students are practicing their first oral reports in an American history class.)

Student #1: “Hi, I’m [Name], and I’ll be discussing public reaction to the Battle of Little Bighorn, also known as Custard’s Last Stand.”

Teacher’s Assistant: “Hold up. It’s ‘Custer.’ It sounded a bit like you tacked a ‘D’ onto his name.”

Student #1: “Wait, ‘Custard.'”

Teacher’s Assistant: “Custer!”

Student #1: “Like the food? They named the dessert after him?”

Teacher’s Assistant: “Uh… no. ‘Custer.'”

Student #1: “They name all sorts of food after military people. I just assumed…”

Teacher’s Assistant: “What the… what food is named after military people?”

Student #1: “Well… Caesar salad.”

Student #2: “Captain Crunch!”

Teacher’s Assistant: “[Student #1], his name was George Custerrrrrrrr, and people tend not to name food after military figures. Proceed.”

Student #1: “Uh… okay. Well, uh… wait! What about General Mills?”

(After the report…)

Teacher’s Assistant: “[Student #1], you’ve read three books about Little Bighorn. How did you never notice there was no ‘D’ in ‘Custer?'”

Student #2: “He got it mixed up with his grade!”

5 Horrifyingly Hilarious Halloween Customer Stories

Not Always Right | Right | October 27, 2013

Weekly Roundup: 5 Horrifyingly Hilarious Halloween Customer Stories! In this week’s roundup, we share five Halloween-themed customer stories!

  1. Thank You For Shopping At ApocalypseMart (16,411 thumbs up)
  2. Helping The Needy (5,156 thumbs up)
  3. He Is Twice The Man (3,165 thumbs up)
  4. More Leftovers, Less Landfill (3,145 thumbs up)
  5. We Ain’t Got Jack (2,959 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Skating Past Bigotry Into Racism

| London, England, UK | Right | October 27, 2013

(I work in a skateboard shop. I’m female and have been working on skateboards from the age of 15. A teenage black male customer approaches my coworker and me. My coworker is also black.)

Customer: “Yo, can you get out here and put fresh tape on my board?”

Me: “Oh I’ll be happy to do that for you! Did you want a design or logo cut out? I just did this one; it looks pretty good.”

Customer: “I ain’t having a girl touch my board. I want somebody who knows what they’re actually doing, not a woman!”

Coworker: “Actually, she’s probably the quickest and neatest taper here, and watch your attitude.”

Customer: “Nah man, I’m not having some b**** wreck my board!”

Coworker: “Right, that’s it. Get out of my shop.”

Customer: “What?! No way. You can’t kick me out because I’m black.”

Coworker: *gestures to self* “It’s hardly because you’re black, is it? It’s because you’re insulting staff. Get out.”

Customer: “That’s discrimination! I’m going to sue you!”

(The customer leaves, ranting all the way out the door about how girls shouldn’t work in skate shops and he’s going to sue us for discriminating on race.)

Coworker: “Yeah, good luck with that, mate.”

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