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If Shakespeare Be The Fruit Of Love, Then Quote On

| USA | Romantic | October 28, 2013

(It’s a new relationship, and it’s our first time having sex. We’ve been hitting a few snags, but we’re treating it with humor and patience. After a lull, we decide to try again.)

Me: “Once more unto the breach!”

Boyfriend: “Did you just…?”

Me: “Quote Shakespeare in bed? Yes, I did.”

Boyfriend: “You’re amazing!”

(We high-five and keep going.)

Droid-Rage

| OH, USA | Romantic | October 28, 2013

(My boyfriend likes to watch movies before he goes to sleep. I am searching for my PJs in the bedroom. I hear my boyfriend muttering as I lean over, looking in a drawer.)

Boyfriend: “You overweight glob of grease…”

(I bolt up with my eyes narrowed.)

Me: “What did you just say?”

Boyfriend: “Huh?”

Me: “What… did… you… just say?”

(My index finger is pointing and he has a look of abject terror.)

Boyfriend: “You overweight glob of grease?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(He points to the laptop.)

Boyfriend: “C3PO, calls R2 an overweight glob of grease…”

Me: “Nu-uh.”

Boyfriend: “YES!”

Me: “Rewind it; you’d better hope he does.”

(He rewinds the movie.)

C3PO: *to R2-D2* “You overweight glob of grease.”

(I said I was sorry for snapping, but he hasn’t paraphrased that part of the movie since!)

Will You Meow-rry Me, Part 2

| Knoxville, TN, USA | Romantic | October 28, 2013

(I’m visiting my boyfriend at his dad’s house. We’re talking as he’s cleaning his cats’ litter-box.)

Boyfriend: “So, my dad’s asking if you’ll visit again during Thanksgiving.”

Me: “Thanks, but I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with my family.”

Boyfriend: “Am I not considered family?”

Me: “I love you, but I don’t. Not unless we get married or something.”

Boyfriend: “…will you marry me?”

Me: “…I’m going to pretend you didn’t just fake propose to me while holding a bag of cat poop.”

Related:
Will You Meow-rry Me

How I See My Girlfriend

| Romantic | October 28, 2013

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Math Word Problems

| Learning | October 28, 2013

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