Crime Stinks

, , , , , | Legal | February 7, 2020

New perfume sample bottles are put out one day. Security catches a guy watching, and sure enough, he starts to sneak around. Before long, he has twenty full bottles stashed in his coat and pants pockets, never realizing we watched the whole thing on camera.

Security is waiting by the door, but when they approach him, he takes off running. It turns out it’s not easy to run with a few pounds of glass bottles clanking around. He makes it about five feet out the door before he trips and hurts himself. Security brings him back in.

This is where the problem begins. A bunch of the bottles cracked in the fall. By the time we get him back to the office, his coat is actually wet with perfume. The combination of scents is eye-watering.

We call the police and try to set up a fan to blow the smell out of the hallway to no avail. The first cop rounds the corner, pauses, and just mutters, “Oh, my God,” before he even sees the thief.

Police end up drawing straws to see whose patrol car the guy will be in. Later, when I see that cop, he tells me the jail wasn’t happy as the thief was held for the weekend, and the cell still hasn’t aired out.

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