Caffeine And Easter And Lent, Oh My

(A very good regular but quirky customer calls in about her car. She’s been taking her vehicles to two of our locations for over 18 years. She’s always polite, funny, and pleasant, but kind of weird. We’ve always chalked it up to her not being from here.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Shop]. How can I help you?”

Regular: “Hi! Is [Assistant Manager] or [Supervisor] available?”

(I recognize her unique voice.)

Me: “Sorry, neither are here today; they’ll be back Monday and Tuesday.”

Regular: “D***!”

Me: “You could always let me help you.”

Regular: “Okay, I guess so. A week ago I was scheduled to come in for a transmission flush and oil change, but I rear-ended a car and just got it back from the shop. It sounds loud and different, but also windy. I was hoping someone could double-check it for me when I come in tomorrow.”

Me: “We can definitely check it, but we are closed tomorrow.”

Regular: “No, you’re not. You’re always open on Sundays.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we are closed for the holiday.”

Regular: “Oh, okay, I guess. So, you guys won’t be open until Tuesday?”

Me: “Sorry, no, we are only closed Sunday. We have our normal schedule again starting Monday, after Easter.”

Regular: “F***, wait, what?!”

Me: “We are closed tomorrow for Easter and will be open again on Monday.”

Regular: “No, wait. Easter is tomorrow?”

Me: “Yes, tomorrow.”

Regular: “S***! Are you f****** sure? POSITIVE?!”

Me: *trying not to laugh and upset her* “Yes, I am positive, ma’am.”

Regular: “Aw, crap! What the f***?!”

Me: *really trying to keep it together* “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Regular: “S***, I didn’t f****** realize Easter was coming. I’m a f****** parent. I’m screwed! What the h*** am I going to do?!”

Me: “I think [Big Retailer] is still usually open for a while.”

Regular: “You can go ahead and laugh. I know this is ridiculous. It’s just rude to not laugh.”

Me: *still trying to keep it together* “It’s okay; we all forget sometimes.”

Regular: “Can you please leave a message for [Assistant Manager] or [Supervisor] that I want to bring my car in to have it checked after a collision?”

Me: “It’s okay. You can bring it in.”

Regular: “No, please let them know; you need to let them know first.”

Me: “No, it’s okay; you don’t need an appointment.”

Regular: “Please just let them know. I always let them know first and they always tell me when to bring it.”

Me: “No, any day is okay as long as we are open.”

Regular: “Please tell them.”

Me: “Okay, sure. I’ll leave them a note.”

Regular: “Okay, thank you.” *hangs up*

(I think it’s a waste of time, but while I am talking with her, I send a message to them via group text telling them I booked her for Monday. I get a text back.)

Supervisor: “No, no, no! Not Monday!”

Assistant Manager: “Not Monday!”

Me: “I already hung up.”

Supervisor: “It’s going to be horrible!”

Me: “What’s going on?”

Manager: “She quit caffeine and sugar for Lent! Glad I’m not back until Tuesday!”

Me: “Lent is already over.”

Supervisor: “You positive?”

Me: “Yes.”

Manager: “Are you sure?”

Me: “POSITIVE.”

Supervisor: “SWEET! Looks like we get Starbucks!”

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