And You Thought Telemarketers Were Annoying

Until about fifteen years ago, I used one of my country’s “big banks.” For various reasons, I changed banks. A few years later, I moved a few thousand kilometers away. I’m still in intermittent contact with my former housemate. Sometimes, she mentions that she is receiving mail from [Bank]. She has placed “return to sender” and “moved” on the envelopes and has gone into [Bank] and spoken with them. I’ve called the bank a few times but can’t ever seem to get anywhere with anyone, as there is no card number. The letters keep coming every month. With my permission, my housemate opens some. Yup. They contain some personal information. Others are simply junk mail. The letters still continue nearly ten years later.

I call my former branch. Unfortunately, I can’t get through to a living human without a bank card number. I call the national line and am on hold for a very long time. Again, I am asked for a banking card number. Fortunately, I am able to reach a representative. I explain my issue: that my accounts have been closed for well over a decade and that letters keep arriving in a former housemate’s mailbox. I tell him that the letters contain personal information and that it’s only because my former housemate is a good person that nothing bad has happened. This person is kind enough to give me the number of a branch manager. I call her.

Me: “I’m calling about letters that [Bank] keeps sending to my previous address. They arrive almost every month, but I closed all of my accounts over a decade ago. I’m worried that this could lead to identity theft.”

The branch manager verifies my former phone number and nothing else — not even a birthdate.

Manager: “Yes, I see that all of your accounts were closed in [year]. We’re sending valuable investment offers and updates with [Bank].”

Me: “Please stop them. They are not reaching me and never will. I am not a [Bank] customer.”

Manager: “You are missing out on exciting investments.”

Me: “No. I like my current bank. Stop sending them.”

Manager: “I will put in a request. Now, would you please provide me with a current address?”

Me: “No.”

Manager: “We won’t send any junk mail or anything. You will only receive updates of what [Bank] is offering.”

Me: “Absolutely not.”

Manager: “It’s very important that we have a current address for fraud prevention.”

Me: “So, I should call [Competitor Bank] and give them my address, too? To prevent fraud?”

There is a fairly long pause.

Me: “Please just stop all mailings under my name.”

I hung up. Let’s see if my former housemate, yet again, finds letters in her mailbox from [Bank] addressed to me.