A Little “Extra” Sarcasm Goes A Long Way

(I work at an industrial supply store in a small town. We sell all types of fasteners and our nearest competitor is about thirty miles away. Plenty of customers get cranky about buying package quantities and drive to our competitor.)

Customer: “I need some socket head bolts like this one, but in stainless steel and an inch longer.”

Me: “Okay, I have a pack of 25 in stock. It would be about $25 with tax, so around $1 each.”

Customer: “Well, that’s bulls***! I only need three of the d*** things. I don’t have no use for ‘extrees.’”

(This guy is pretty redneck.)

Me: “Yeah, but the way our inventory is set up I have to sell them by the package.”

Customer: “Ah, to h*** with that. I’ll drive over to [Competitor]; they’ll sell ’em ‘indivigel,’ like two bucks each.”

Me: “Okay, just so I understand, you’re going to take an hour round trip in your crew cab dually truck out there, getting maybe four miles per gallon, then pay twice the price per bolt, all because you don’t have a use for extras?”

(He stares me down silently for a few seconds, clearly doing some advanced arithmetic in his head.)

Customer: “Okay, f*** it. I’ll buy the package, but I’m throwin’ away the rest of ’em. I got no d*** use with ’em.”

Me: “All right, here you go. The receipt’s in the bag. Have an ‘extree’ nice day.”

(He didn’t find that last part nearly as funny as I did.)