(I am working for a conversation school in Korea and living in apartments provided by my employers, a husband and wife couple. One day they come over for a visit. It goes pleasantly enough and they leave. Later, the guy who did a lot of the translating for us comes up to me.)

Coworker: “Hey, do you have a rice cooker?”

Me: *a little confused* “Why?”

Coworker: “[Bosses] saw your bucket of rice and couldn’t see one.”

Me: “I don’t have one.”

Coworker: “Then how do you cook rice?”

Me: “I have a stove and pots.”

Coworker: *looks confused for a moment and then realizes* “Oh! You actually COOK rice.”

Me: “Well, sometimes I burn it.”

(Apparently they had spent a lot of the visit trying to find my nonexistent rice cooker without rudely going through my things.)

Coworker: “You’re in big trouble!”

Me: “Oh? How so?”

Coworker: “Because you left all the tools in the company truck!”

Me: “So? We’ve got another job in two days. Policy states that it’s perfectly fine to leave the equipment in the truck when you’ve got jobs that close together.”

Coworker: “Really?”

Me: “Yup. Why? What happened?”

Coworker: “Well, someone took the company truck out to visit clients yesterday, and when they got back, they left the windows rolled down. Someone could have stolen everything!”

Me: “Well, wasn’t me. They were rolled up when I finished that job on the weekend. Who took it out to visit clients?”

Coworker: *pregnant pause* “Me.”

Me: “You’re the one you took the truck out?”

Coworker: “Yes.”

Me: “So you’re the one who left the windows rolled down overnight.”

Coworker: “Yes.”

Me: “So whose fault would it have been if everything was stolen out of the truck?”

Coworker: “YOURS, because you’re supposed to empty the truck after a job!”

Me: *annoyed sigh*

Coworker: “I’ll cover for you this time, but next time, you empty the truck!”

(I’m in the doctor’s office, discussing my treatment.)

Doctor: “Who’s your oncologist?”

Me: “Dr. [Movie Star Name].”

Doctor: “I know him. You know, another doctor and I were discussing patients with famous names. He had one named [Golden Girl Name].”

Me: “Okay, I went to junior high school with [Welsh Movie Star Name] and [English Movie Star Name]. Even funnier, my sister’s name is [P*rn Star Name] and she’s conservative. I went to look up her business address and whoa!”

Doctor: “I’ll have to look that up, just not on the office computer.”

(My coworker answers a phone call, and everything is perfectly normal… until the end of the call.)

Coworker: “Okay, have a nice day!” *hangs up* “Don’t you say ‘see you later’ to me! You won’t see me later. You don’t even know me!”

(I work at a drive-in fast food joint as a cook. The store manager is relatively new. While working the prep station, I notice that someone has carved a large swastika into the cutting board.)

Me: “[Manager], I thought I’d bring this to your attention. It looks like someone has carved a swastika into the cutting board.”

Manager: *indignantly* “Okay… What do you expect me to do about it?”

Me: “Just a thought, maybe we could just have it flipped over, so that it isn’t visible.”

Manager: *dismissively smirks and returns to his paperwork*

(For a month, I take it upon myself to flip it over every time I work. Two days before the regional manager comes in, I noticed someone had carved multiple swastikas on BOTH sides of the cutting board.)

Me: “[Manager], I’m not sure if you had noticed, but someone has carved swastikas on both sides of the cutting board.”

Manager: “Well, I guess you’ll have to deal with seeing it.”

(The next day, I show the regional manager. Though I had the opportunity to throw the store manager under the bus, I choose not to let him know that I had told him about it.)

Regional Manager: *seeing the obviously intentional carvings* “Wow! Yeah, we’ll take care of that as soon as possible.”

(Two days later I come into work and notice a clean, new, cutting board. I also noticed that my hours are cut in half, and am assigned every crap closing duty on the days I work. Biting my tongue, I continue working, un-phased by the turn of events. One night, I pass by the store manager and another employee in their smoke break, while taking out crushed boxes.)

Manager: “[My Name], would you have gotten offended if you saw the word ‘n*****’ written in our bathroom wall?”

Me: “Yes.”

Manager: “Why? You’re not black.”

Me: “It doesn’t matter. It’s an offensive word. Not to mention customers also use that restroom, and it’s just all around unprofessional.”

Manager: “Well, you’re not Jewish, are ya?” *now referring to the swastika*

Me: “I have Jewish background.”

Manager: “Well, you’re not German, are ya?”

Me: “Yes… I have German background, too.”

(The next day, I submitted my two-week notice. In an ironic twist, I found out that he was fired two months later. Apparently, he and another employee, who he told us was his “brother,” were caught making out in his car, in front of the store, by the regional manager.)