Change Can Be Difficult, Part 2

| Working | February 11, 2013

(My sister is checking out at a popular retail store. The total comes out to $14.01. My sister hands the cashier $15.)

Sister: “Hang on, I have a penny.”

(The cashier ignores her and starts counting out change while she pulls out a penny.)

Sister: “Here, just give me a dollar back.”

Cashier: “What?”

Sister: “Take this penny, and then just give me a dollar back.”

Cashier: “I already calculated the change in the machine. My register won’t be balanced.”

Sister: “Okay, but if I give you a penny, and you give me a dollar it will still be balanced.”

Cashier: “But the register says 99 cents!”

Sister: “I know, so you give me a dollar, and I give you a penny, it evens out.”

(The cashier looks visibly distraught and hands my sister a bunch of change.)

Cashier: “I’m really sorry. I don’t know what you want me to do!”


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Here’s A Capital Idea: Invest In Education

| Working | February 11, 2013

Me: “Hey [coworker]! I heard this really funny thing on the radio yesterday where people couldn’t answer simple questions. You should have heard it!”

Coworker: “Oh yeah? Like what kind of questions?”

Me: “Well, there were five questions they were asking people. The first was, ‘What’s the capital of the United States?'”

Coworker: “That’s silly! It’s New York!”

Me: “Umm… no. ”

Coworker: “Umm… Virginia?”

Me: “It’s Washington, DC.”

Coworker: “Noooooo… that’s not a state!”

Me: “No, but it’s still the capital of the US.”

Coworker: “Well, I learned that in like second grade. I can’t be expected to remember that after all this time!”

(Mind you, this coworker had graduated high school earlier in the year with honors. The next day, I’m telling the story to her mother, my boss.)

Me: “Man, I asked [coworker] if she knew the capital the the US yesterday and she had no idea!”

Boss: “There is no capital!”

Me: “…Yes. Yes, there is. It’s Washington, DC.”

Boss: “Are you sure?”

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Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Hints

| Working | February 11, 2013

(I’m at the checkout of a small store with several t-shirts. Note: I am left-handed.)

Checkout Girl: “Cash or card?”

Me: “Card.”

(I give my card and I sign on the receipt. As I do, the checkout girl gives me a strange look.)

Checkout Girl: “Oh, I see… your wand arm is different from most of ours. Sinister…”

Me: “Huh?”

Checkout Girl: “What are people like you doing here? Muggles!”

(I finally realise what is going on. When she bags my stuff and hands them to me, I say…)

Me: “Master gave Dobby clothes! Dobby is free!”

(We both begin to laugh and exchange phone numbers. She later told me that “sinister” was a word for left-handedness in Latin. I even called her home once to show her my Harry Potter collection! Funny way to make friends!)

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Dressing Up Can Lead To Dressing Downs

| Working | February 10, 2013

Supervisor: “You are aware of the dress code, right? No flip-flops, no t-shirts with offensive pictures or slogans, nothing torn or dirty, and nothing too short or revealing.”

Me: “I… I’m not doing any of these things. Ever.”

Supervisor: “Exactly! You are always so elegant with your black dresses and nice jewelry. I just want to make sure you’re aware that you are allowed jeans and sneakers here. We are not that kind of office!”

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Lock, In Stock, And Bullheaded

| Working | February 10, 2013

Me: “Excuse me? Can you tell me where the locks are?”

Sales Associate: “We don’t have locks here.”

Me: “Really? None at all?”

Sales Associate: “No.”

Me: “Can you check?”

Sales Associate: “We don’t sell locks here!”

Me: “Alright. Thanks, I guess…”

(After a few minutes, I manage to find some locks and return to the sales associate.)

Me: “I found them hanging by the coloured duct tape, just so you’re aware for next time.”

Sales Associate: “No! We don’t sell any locks!”

Me: “…”

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