Coworkers Can Be Such A Gas

| Working | June 26, 2012

(Note: At our outdoor supply store, we have CO2 for paintball guns. The front of the shop is a big glass cube so customers can watch us work.)

Coworker: “Man, it’s hot.”

Me: “Yeah, what ya gonna do?”

Coworker: “This!”

(Suddenly, my coworker grabs the hose for the CO2 tank and shoves it in his pants. He then squeezes the trigger and shoots freezing CO2 on his crotch.)

Coworker: “D***, that’s cold!”

(I look out to see a group of customers staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed through the window. Seeing this, the manager walks in.)

Manager: “Can’t you wait until we close?!”

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Time To Call It Quits

, | Working | June 26, 2012

(One night, we received two buses. However, we only had two people back in grill. Normally, front counter is supposed to help by sending their extras to the back in the grill and help, but this day we only had two. When this happens, it’s the manager on shift who is supposed to hop on the line to help.)

Coworker: “Get [manager’s name]. We need help with these orders.”

Me: “On it!”

(I go over and knock on the shift manager’s office door, which is open.)

Me: [Manager], we’re taking five sandwiches per order. Could we please get some help?”

Manager: *gives me a “in a moment gesture”*

(Not getting any help from the manager, I go back to the grill and assist my coworker. After the first bus, we get a second. This time, my coworker goes to ask for help from the manager.)

Coworker: “[Manager], we got another bus. Could you please come out an help?”

Manager: *closes his door and continues talking on the phone*

(My coworker and I manage to get all the orders done, but the two front counter people are furious and storm into the back.)

Front Counter #1: *knocks on the door*

Manager: “What?”

Front Counter #1: “Who the h*** were you talking to!?”

Manager: “My friend’s in town, and we were catching up.”

Front Counter #2: “Didn’t you hear them calling for help!? We had two buses!”

Manager: “They didn’t ask for it.”

Front Counter #1: “Bulls***! I saw them! You were too busy sitting on your a** talking away on a personal call!”

Manager: “You can’t talk to me like that! I can have you two fired! Now, either start showing respect, or get out!”

(It’s worth noting that Front Counter #1 is the son of the manager’s boss. Fed up, both front counter people silently got their coats and walked out, effectively closing the store for the night. Thankfully, one week later, the manager was fired.)

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No Way To Make Up For A Bad Attitude

| Working | June 26, 2012

(This takes place at a stand alone stall in the middle of a mall. A salesman stops me as I walk past.)

Salesman: “Hey, we have a great offer today on mineral make up!”

Me: “Oh…uh, no, thank you.”

Salesman: “You can’t pass it up! We’re offering a buy one get one free deal on all our foundation powders.”

Me: “Ah, no thanks. I don’t wear much make up.”

Salesman: “Yeah, well maybe you should!”

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You Can’t Buy Your Way Out Of Everything

| Working | June 25, 2012

Me: “Hi, I’m having a few issues with my laptop’s power cable. I see you only have the 60W available with the new style connector. I just wanted to check if that is compatible with the previous generation of the laptop. Also, can I use a 60W with a 15-inch version, or do I require the 80W option?”

Employee: “So, you want to buy a laptop?”

Me: “Um, no…” *I repeat the problem*

Employee: “Well, the new generation of laptops have—”

Me: “No, I don’t want to buy a laptop. I already have one. I have an old-style 15 inch laptop, but I need a new power cable. Can I use that 60W transformer with the new style connector on my 15-inch laptop?”

Employee: “So you don’t want to buy a laptop?”

Me: *giving up* “Is there anyone else I can speak to?”

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The Only Thing He Should Be Running Is Scared

, , | Working | June 25, 2012

(This takes place at a 24-hour drugstore on Thanksgiving. We’re having a big toy sale and are very busy. I’m on the top rung of a ladder pulling items for customers below me when this takes place.)

Me: “I’m so sorry for your wait, you guys. If you give me just one more moment, I’ll get everything you’ve asked for!”

Customer #1: “Oh, honey, it’s okay. You guys are so busy!”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I don’t think we truly anticipated how busy we’d be. You wanted one ‘Cars’ fishing game and a Tinkerbell flowers fishing game, correct?”

Customer #1: “That’s right.”

Customer #2: “Well, with a sale like this!”

Me: “Can’t argue with that, sir! You wanted the flying fairy princess doll, is that right?”

Customer #2: *laughing* “Well, I don’t, but my niece will love it.”

Me: *to Customer #3* “…and ma’am, you wanted the Disney Princess tea set. Is that right?”

Customer #3: “That’s right! Wow, you’ve got a good memory!”

Me: “Thank you! ”

(At this point, my boss, who has barely exited his office all day, walks up.)

Boss: *to me* “Hey, someone is waiting to use the bathroom. Go let them in.”

Me: “Okay, it’ll be just a moment. Where’s [Coworker]?”

Boss: “On break.”

Me: “But they’ve only been here 45 minutes.”

Boss: “So?”

Me: “I’ve been here six hours, and you haven’t let me take a break yet. Also, more importantly, I’m busy right now.”

Boss: “Well, that person needs to use the restroom. Go do your job.”

Customer #3: “Sir, I mean no disrespect, but clearly she’s doing her job. Do you not see her on top of the ladder? Why don’t you just let them in yourself?”

Boss: “That’s not my job. It’s my employees’ jobs…” *snidely to me* “…even if they’re trying to be lazy.”

Customer #2: *to my boss* “What is your job?”

Boss: “To make sure the store runs smoothly.”

Customer #1: “You’re doing a poor job of it.”

Boss: *turns bright red and grits his teeth* “…and just who are you to judge?”

Customer #1: “A customer.”

Boss: *waves her off*

Customer #2: *very serious* “You are NOT too good to help your employees. Just because you are in a management position does not exempt you from helping. You should go let that customer into the restroom. And after this young lady is done helping us, you should make sure she takes her lunch.”

Boss: “I make the store run! You can’t tell me how to run my store!”

Customer #2: “No, you don’t ‘make the store run.’ Your employees do. And this young lady has been running her tail off since I’ve been here. You have no idea who I am, do you?”

Boss: “Someone who has no idea how the store works?”

Customer #2: *laughs* “No, I’m [Customer #2].”

Me: *startled* “From district?!”

Customer #2: “That’s right, and I think…” *to my boss* “…you and I need to have a LONG talk.”

(At this point, I finally get to the bottom of the ladder and start handing out the items.)

Me: “Here you go everyone. Thank you so much for your patience and have a Happy Thanksgiving!”

Boss: *to me* “Just go get coworker and take your lunch!”

([Customer #1] and [Customer #3] wished me the same, while [Customer #2] — who was in fact from corporate — dragged my boss into the office for that “talk.”)

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