(Not So) Great Scott

| Working | May 28, 2012

(I have woken up with a serious vision problem and decide to see the eye doctor as soon as possible. I call the same eye care facility I have been using for the past six years and am given an appointment for three in the afternoon.)

Me: “Hi, I have a 3:00 appointment?”

Employee #1: “What? No, that’s not right. This guy over here is the 3:00.”

(There are four different employees behind the counter, and in the course of the next five minutes, they all proceed to question and very nearly BERATE me, suggesting that I don’t know where I made the appointment. Finally, one of them pages backward through the appointment book.)

Employee #2: “Here it is! Your appointment was for 3:00 yesterday afternoon. You were supposed to come in yesterday!”

Me: “I made the appointment this morning. Why would I have made it for yesterday?!”

Employee #2: “Who did you talk to when you made the appointment?”

Me: “He said his name was Scott.”

All four employees, in unison: “Ohhhhh…”

(I never did get an apology.)

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So Easy, Even A Caveman Can Cook It

| Working | May 28, 2012

(Our sous-chef has been stirring a pot of pizza sauce on the gas stove for over an hour.)

Sous-chef: “Why won’t this sauce thicken?”

(I look underneath the pot and notice the stove isn’t turned on.)

Me: “Caveman must discover fire before he can cook his dinner.”

 

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Affirmed

| Working | May 28, 2012

(I’m the only female who works at this particular comic book store. My boss isn’t particularly happy that I was hired because I’m a woman, and he’s made backhanded and insulting comments since the day I started working there.)

Customer: “It’s a pretty refreshing change to see a woman here.”

Me: “Thank you, sir. I’m glad I could help you! I think you’ll really be pleased with your selection.”

Customer: *to my boss* “She was really great. She knew more about the Justice League than I ever did! She introduced me to a couple new lines too. Good job hiring her!”

My Boss: *in a condescending tone* “Yes, well, she’s our affirmative action, if you get what I’m saying.”

Me: *to customer* “Here you go, sir. I also included an invite for our free comic book day in a couple of weeks, I hope you can make it back over. We’ll have some I think you’ll really like!”

Customer: “Thank you! You were a fantastic help.” *to my boss* “Perhaps you should be careful how you speak about your employees. You could offend someone.”

My Boss: *brushes it off* “Yeah, okay…”

(A week later, my boss was fired. Turns out the customer was the owner’s brother doing a little secret shopping for him!)

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Customers Actually Know A Thing Or Two

, , , | Working | May 27, 2012

(I was recently given a $2 bill from the bank. I don’t collect the things, so I try to use it to buy a $1 cookie from a cookie place in the mall.)

Employee: *looks at $2 bill* “I can’t accept that.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “I need real money.”

Me: “It’s a two dollar bill—”

Employee: “If you don’t give me real money, I’m going to call security!”

Me: “It is real money. Are you being serious?”

Employee: “Are you retarded? I’m telling you, I’m going to call security if you keep trying to give me fake money!”

Me: “This is…you know what, do it. Call security.”

(The employee calls security, and a guard arrives shortly.)

Security Guard: *to me* “She tells me you’re trying to pass counterfeit money off on her?”

Me: *hands him the $2 bill*

Security Guard: *to the employee* “Really?”

Employee: *smugly* “Can you believe she tried to give that to me?!”

Security Guard: *walks away*

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One Order Of Nepotism To-Go

, | Working | May 26, 2012

(It’s about 10 at night, and I stop at a drive-thru for a late dinner. There are no cars behind me in line, so I take a few moments to examine the new items on the menu.)

Me: “Could I have a few seconds to look at the menu?”

Employee #1: *via the drive-thru intercom* “Lady, just order already!”

Me: “Fine…” *I place an order and pull up*

Employee #1: “You really should keep your f***ing a** going to keep the line moving.”

Me: “There was no one else here. No one was behind me.”

Employee #1: *shrugs and waves me forward*

(As I pull forward to get my food, I complain to the girl with my order.)

Employee #2: *sighs* “Yeah, you’re the third person to complain tonight. He’s the manager’s son, so I don’t think anything’s going to be done about it…”

(Needless to say, I never went to that particular franchise again.)

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