Wish These Sovereign Citizens Would Just Hush, Hush

I work at a bookstore. One day, I am shelving some books when a woman comes over with the first book in the “Hush, Hush” saga.

Customer: “What’s this book about?”

Me: “Oh, that’s a good series. It has fallen angels in it, and—”

Customer: “Fallen angels?! Ick!”

She then throws the book down and stomps on it. She continues to stomp on it until the cover is torn, making it unsellable.

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, you have to pay for that now.”

Customer: “What?! No! I refuse to pay for the devil’s work!”

Me: “But you destroyed the cover. See here—”

Customer: “You can’t prove that was me! Besides, no one would buy it anyway!”

Me: “Actually, it’s a very popular—”

Customer: “Shut up! Just shut up! I’m not paying for that!”

Boss: “Ma’am, please pay for the book you just destroyed, or I’ll be forced to call the police.”

Customer: “I’m a sovereign citizen! I don’t have to follow your laws!”

She then storms out, knocking a few more books off the shelves. My boss sighs and picks up the book.

Boss: “Well, that book’s pretty much ruined now. I’ll have to damage it out. It sucks to get rid of perfectly good books.”

Me: “You know, I read somewhere that some garbage men started a library for books that people just throw away…”

A week later, we had a stack of books by the counter saying, “Slightly Damaged Books: Half Price”. Guess what was the first book bought from that pile?