Who You’re Married To Is Another Animal Entirely

I answer my department’s phone.

Me: “Radiology.”

Caller: “I’m looking for my test results. It’s [Caller].”

Me: “I can’t find the results using that name. It might be easier if I use the name of the animal.”

Caller: “What animal? I’m asking about my wife’s test!”

Me: “Sir, this is a veterinary hospital.”

Caller: “What are you trying to say? I dialed the wrong number?!”

Me: “I hope so. If this is the right number, I’m afraid I’m going to have to call the police.”