Who Needs That Many Phones?!

I work with a woman who is pushing sixty and enjoys infantilizing herself to try to get me to accomplish her tasks. As far as I can tell, it is usually because she thinks the tasks are beneath her. For the first three years of my employment, I just go with it as it is my first job, and as a twenty-something straight out of college, you don’t really know the industry norms.

However, after a while, when [Coworker] starts to become blatantly abusive, I stop and focus on MY job. But don’t worry. She usually figures it out on her own. Because I am no longer a willing participant and it would be absurd (and highly inappropriate) to demand I do her work for her, she has resorted to living in Lalaland and acting like a toddler.

One day, [Coworker] calls me.

Coworker: “Hey. What is the password to [account]? I need to get in to purchase some things and I don’t want to put it on my card.”

Me: “Check the password list. You have access to it.”

Coworker: “Can you just do it for me?”

Me: “Sorry, but right now I am busy. I can look into it in a couple of hours if you like?”

Coworker: “I need it now!”

Me: “Best of luck to you, then.” *Hangs up*

She stews for an hour or so before she texts me, “Never mind. Found it.” Good for her, I suppose.

Two hours after she finds the password, I get an email from the purchasing website that the transaction was declined. I figure it is her, so I discover that she was trying to purchase nearly $6,000 in cellphones on my card. My card has a $1,500 limit as I am a tiny little fish, so it is no surprise, but what is a surprise is that she used my account. I go in and change the password and let her know. I CC our boss on the email.

Me: “Hey. It seems you tried to use my card to make the purchase and it got declined. Thanks for reminding me to change the password, though!”

Two minutes later, I get an email telling me someone is trying to reset my password. A minute after that, she tries to call me. At this point, I decide to ignore it. She ends up calling twice more, sending me a grand total of ten text messages, and sending three more attempts to reset MY password. After about thirty minutes, I finally resend the email, once more copying our boss.

Me: “Hey. I don’t know if you saw, but I reset the password due to the security concern. You will have to use your own account and your own credit card. You can reset your password if you need to.”

I also send her a text letting her know.

Two hours later, I get another text.

Coworker: “Thanks. I got it. Turns out there was a credit limit cap. I need these for a client, ASAP. I told them I would order them. I will have to purchase it in increments. Please be on standby.”

Me: *Thinking* “For what? What can I possibly help you with?”

I was issued a new credit card due to fraud concerns from some crazy person trying to purchase nineteen cell phones with it, and [Coworker] was informed that in the future, she needs to go through purchasing — and to use her own company card.

And for her grand reasoning? She didn’t want to fill out the expense report, and she had told the client they would be in on Friday. Interesting how she filled it out last week with no issue.