We Can’t Believe She Thought That Would Work

I recently moved to a small-ish town in a rural part of the country. The trope of everyone knowing everyone is kind of true so far.

I’m at work, ringing up a young woman customer.

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $88.21.”

Customer: *Scoffs*

Me: “Is that not what you were expecting, ma’am?”

Customer: “Duh! Obviously?”

Me: *Looking around* “Was there a coupon I forgot to apply?”

Customer: “Oh, my God, are you that stupid?! Look at me!”

I look at her. No immediate answer is forthcoming.

Customer: “I get a discount!”

Me: “On what basis, ma’am?”

Customer: “Look at me! I’m, like, the hottest girl in town. I never pay full price.”

Wow. Okay…

Me: “I’m afraid that… regardless of that, ma’am, it’s still $88.21.”

Customer: “Are you gay?”

Me: “What? No, not that it’s any of your business.”

Customer: “Then, what’s my price?”

Me: “$88.21.”

Customer: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “Honestly, neither do I.”

Customer: “I never pay full price!”

I’m getting tired of this, and I have an angry-looking line forming.

Me: “Well, congratulations, because you are today. Scratch that one off of your bucket list.”

Customer: “I… don’t understand.”

Me: “Please stand aside so I can serve other customers if you need some more time.”

I serve another two customers while she stands there, almost staring into the void, as her entire delicate worldview comes crashing down around her.

I am later told by a coworker that she went to high school with the customer, and she had amassed a sizable following on social media and considers herself an influencer.

Me: “Okay, but I can’t believe I was the first person to charge her full price?”

Coworker: “You’re probably the first person to serve her that didn’t go to high school with her and idolize her. There’s a reason she always goes to the same stores and picks the male cashiers.”

Wow… just wow.