Washing Your Eyes In Jalapeños Would Be Less Painful

(I’m working concession at my movie theater. We offer nachos and have a few free side items to go with the nachos, including hot sauces and jalapeño slices. We ran out of jalapeños earlier in the night. A customer approaches me, clearly already grumpy and angry.)

Customer: “Get me nachos.”

Me: “Certainly, sir.”

(I fetch the nachos.)

Me: “That’ll be $6.99.”

Customer: “You’re f****** kidding me?! That’s insane! This is robbery!”

Me: “I’m truly sorry, sir.”

Customer: “Fine! But you’d better get me jalapeños!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we ran out of jalapeños earlier.”

Customer: *scoffs and glares at me with pure rage* “Really? REALLY?! Well, then… what are you going to do for me to make up for this f****** inconvenience?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

Customer: “I WANTED jalapeños. You don’t have them. So you’re going to give me something else for free! I want more! A small popcorn!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not authorized to do that. The jalapeños are an optional free bonus item. I’m not authorized to give you a pay-item to make up for an optional free item that we’re out of.”

Customer: “Well then, give me more nacho cheese!”

Me: “I’m going to have to charge you 99 cents for the cheese.”

Customer: “Bulls***! You owe me compensation for my inconvenience!”

Me: “I really apologize, sir, but I’m really not authorized to give out free pay-items as compensation for a free optional bonus item.”

Customer: “F*** you!”

(He throws money at me and storms off. Five minutes later, I hear him swearing and screaming at the manager’s desk. A coworker who witnessed the initial exchange comes over to me.)

Coworker: “You know what’s probably happening? He’s probably trying to get you fired for following rules. And I’m willing to bet the manager is going to give him a bunch of free stuff to calm him down.”

Me: “Yeah… unfortunately, that’s probably the case.”

(A few minutes later, my manager, indeed, came over, grabbed a slew of food items, and gave them to the man for free to stop him from screaming. I was also scolded for following the rules we were told to follow about not giving out free pay-items to make up for out-of-stock free items. And I was later informed by other coworkers that the man spent the entire rest of the night swearing at and insulting them, demanding preferential treatment because that “a**hole at concession” wouldn’t give him free items. It’s incidents like this that make me want to strangle whoever coined the phrase “the customer is always right.”)

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