Unable To Re-Coup From That

I am ringing up a woman in her mid- to late forties.

Me: “Do you have any coupons or gift cards?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Your total is [total].”

She pulls a huge bundle of coupons out of her purse and tries to hand them to me.

Me: “Sorry, I cannot accept your coupons as I’ve already totaled the sale. You’ll need to take your receipt and the coupons to the front-end office and they’ll give you the total value of your coupons in cash.”

Customer: *Screaming* “You’re only doing this because I’m black! You’re racist! My brother is the chief of police and I’m going to get you fired!

I say nothing as she rants, having the attention of the entire front of the store. When she’s finished, I look her straight in the eye.

Me: “I am not a racist. I believe that a**holes come in every color.”

I look over to my manager in the office and just know that I’m going to be fired. The lady is flabbergasted. She loads her bags into her shopping cart, pays me, grabs the change and receipt out of my hand, and charges over to the front office.

My manager asks me to follow him to the management office. I’m prepared to be fired and my heart is beating at an unhealthy rate. We enter the office, and he closes the door and begins to laugh.

Manager: “I need to write you up, but that was the funniest response to an irrational customer!”