Treating You Like A Hotel

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *a young-sounding man* “Yes, I stayed there recently and left. However, my credit card keeps getting billed!”

Me: “I’m so sorry about that. What’s your name?”

Customer: *gives name*

Me: “Ah, yes, Mr. [Customer]. The reason your card keeps getting charged is that your wife keeps extending your stay.”

Customer: “Wife? I have no wife!”

Me: “There was a young lady staying with you, correct?”

Customer: “Yeah, she’s not my wife, she’s my—” *coughs* “—girlfriend. I mean, um, my coworker.”

Me: “Well, she told us that she was your new wife and kept extending your stay. So, that’s why your credit was charged: for the extra days.”

Customer: “What?! But you didn’t re-swipe it!”

Me: “The credit card info is kept in our computer until you check out which, according to the computer, hasn’t happened.”

Customer: “But I did check out! Man, this is bulls***! Give me your manager.”

(The manager, who had heard it all, got on the phone. He insisted that we needed payment for the days the customer’s lady friend was staying. The customer retorted that we ask HER for payment. The manager agreed to try and asked the customer to contact her, as well, about this. The customer agreed, but the lady vanished into thin air and neither of us — the customer or the hotel — could contact her again, and the customer blamed us heavily, swearing. Next time, make sure you tell us that you’re leaving and make sure your guests do, too, buddy! I have no doubt the lady was a homeless escort trying to get free nights.)