This Is A Bad Omen

(When I am about ten years old my father’s mentor is visiting from across the country, and Dad stresses that he really respects the guy and would like us on our best behavior. When he is picking him up from the airport we get all cleaned and dressed and such in our Sunday best.)

Brother & Me: *standing at attention as they walk in* “Welcome home, Father.”

(There is a pause until he puts the pieces together.)

Dad: “I asked for best behavior, not horror movie.”