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This Family’s A Whole Package Of Bad Behavior

, , , , , | Legal | April 14, 2020

My neighborhood has been dealing with a rash of thefts of packages and mail from porches and mailboxes. I end up installing a camera to hopefully catch whoever it was in the act, and I end up getting a hit when a jacket I ordered gets stolen from my porch. The perp is a teenage girl who walks up to my porch and shoves the package into her backpack.

I manage to get a still from the camera that shows a fairly clear shot of her face while she is shoving the package into the bag, which I put onto a poster and post on a couple of the lamp posts near my house, asking for information about the “package thief.” I don’t actually expect anything to come from it; I just hope to maybe shame them into stopping or something. 

To my surprise, I get a phone call the very next day.

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name].

Woman: “You need to take down those posters!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Woman: “You are in big trouble if you don’t take those posters down, now!”

Me: “I’m not taking down anything. I have the right to record my property, and I can use the images how I wish.”

Woman: “My daughter isn’t a thief!”

I look at the phone, taking note of the number in a text document in case I can look up who this is later. I respond in a fakely sweet voice.

Me: “Oh, I’m so, so sorry. I had no idea I was accusing such an upstanding young woman. If I could have your name and address, I’ll write a personal apology for the inconvenience.”

Woman: “It’s [Woman], at [Address].”

I stare at my phone again, this time in shock that it actually worked, before I quickly type things down.

Me: “Right, that will be in the mail shortly.”

I hang up before she can say anything else, and then promptly call the police. I explain what happened and what I did. The person on the other end is a little hung up on the poster and tells me that I really shouldn’t have done that but does promise to look into things. 

It is a few days until I hear back, but I end up getting contacted to get the actual video as evidence. Apparently, the police sent an officer by to check things out and the woman spit in their face after opening the door, which was not a smart move. They found the packaging for a bunch of packages in the house, but unfortunately, most of the stuff had already been sold on, so I never got my jacket back or any of the other packages.

However, the story doesn’t end there. About a month or so later, my front door is vandalized with spray paint, including a note about me “running my mouth.” I repaint it, and then a couple of days later, I get another call from the same number.

Me: “Hello?”

Woman: “That’s what you get! You ruined my daughter’s life, and I’m going to make your life a living h***! You b****!”

She tore off, swearing at me and screaming until I hung up. She immediately tried to call back, but I kept ignoring it while I called up the police again. In a massive karmic coincidence, there was a cop car driving through in the area that happened to be passing by my house just in time to see this woman’s daughter, with a spray can, defacing my door again. So, while I was on the phone, I got a knock at the door and found two officers, with the girl, explaining how they’d seen her graffitiing my doorway.

I explained things, they took the daughter to head over to her mother’s house, and I haven’t heard a thing about it since then. So far, no more graffiti or stolen packages. We’ll see if whatever happened actually sticks.

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