They’ll Be Staying In A Very Different Room Tonight

(A woman calls the hotel asking for directions.)

Caller: “I’m on [highway] and I can’t find your hotel.

Me: *looking at a map* “Okay, ma’am, you’re about 30 minutes from the hotel. Just stay on the freeway and—“

Caller: “Uh-oh, a police officer just turned on his lights behind me. What should I do?”

Me: “I would pull over, ma’am.”

Caller: “I don’t know. How do I know it’s a real cop?”

Me: “Well, if he has blue and red lights flashing or any variation of that, it is very likely a cop. I would pull to the side of the road, ma’am.”

Caller: “I’m from out of town and I don’t know what the police in this area look like. This area doesn’t look very safe, anyway. I’m going to keep driving. Will you stay on the phone with me?”

Me: “Yes, I will, ma’am, but I advise you to pull over.”

(About ten or fifteen minutes go by, and the woman is still driving with the police car, sirens blaring, behind her. I finally convince her to pull over.)

Police Officer: *in the background of her phone* “Shut your vehicle off and get out of the car with your hands up!”

Caller: “I’m not getting out of the car. How do I know you’re a real cop?”

Police Officer: “Shut off your vehicle and exit the vehicle now!”

(She refuses, a struggle ensues and the caller starts pleading with me to call the police to help her. They have a brief conversation and she asks the officer to talk to me on the phone. I explain to the cop that she wasn’t trying to evade but she was afraid to pull over and I plead for him to not take her to jail. The cop agrees not to jail her and tells me he’s going to follow her to the hotel to make sure arrives safely. She arrives at the hotel about 45 minutes later with the cop.)

Caller: “Are you the one I was speaking to on the phone?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Caller: “I got a speeding ticket. Thanks a lot.” *storms off*

Police Officer: *with a look of bewilderment towards me* “Jeez, I’m glad I don’t have your job.”