The Truth is Never Expendable

(I work at a movie theatre. A father walks in with a relatively small child in tow.)

Father: “Hi, I’d like one for The Expendables.”

Me: “Okay. How old is your child?”

Father: “He’s 3. He gets in free, right?”

Me: “Yes, sir. He does.”

Child: “But daddy, I’m five! I’m five, daddy, I’m five!”

Father: “Dang it, Darrell!” *turns back to me* “Two for The Expendables.”