The Parrot Sketch, Part Two

, , , , | Right | May 27, 2015

(I volunteer at a thrift store that donates its money to cancer research. All we sell are donated objects. A middle-aged man comes in with a big birdcage filled with five live parrots.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir! We can’t take live animals.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s okay. My babies are very well-behaved.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s really not an option.”

Customer: *suddenly angry* “Listen, a**hole, you have to take these flying s***ters, because I’m sick of cleaning up poop!”

Me: “I’m sorry—”

Customer: “BE FREE, BIRDS!”

(He then opened the cage and all the birds flew out. My manager, two other coworkers, and I all scrambled around trying to capture them, sustaining many bites and scratches. By the time we did, two hours later, the man had gone. My manager had to then find a shelter that would take all the animals, and we all had to stay three hours late cleaning up bird crap.)


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