The Only Thing Worse Than A Spider Is Another One

I’m a major arachnophobe. Yes, I know it’s irrational, but I can’t help it, okay? My dad can get pretty annoyed since I always call upon him to deal with any eight-legged monsters I encounter around the house, and usually, he really can’t see what the big deal is… except for this time.

I was talking to him in the kitchen about whatever until he shooed me out so he could work.

I walked into the living room… and immediately came speed-walking back out again.

Me: “Daaaaaad?”

Dad knowing that tone sighed and put his utensils down.

Dad: “Where is it?”

Me: “On the wall above the TV.”

Dad walked into the living room.

Dad: “If this is another one of those so-called spiders that I need a magnifying glass to see…”

He paused as he spotted the monster.

Dad: “Oh, yes, that deserves to be called a spider.”

It was big, it was hairy, and it was scary. I cowered in the kitchen while dad slew the beast. When he emerged victorious, he told me something.

Dad: “You know, your mother used to call those kinds of spiders ‘Grandma and Grandpa spiders’.”

Me: “Why that?”

Dad: “Because they’re big and hairy, and because they always seem to come in pairs. If you find one, you’ll usually find another one the next day or so.”

Me: “I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT!”

For the remainder of the day, I alternated between being tense and checking my surroundings for lurking arachnids and trying to convince myself that this was one of my dad’s usual pranks.

It turns out, I was right to be worried. The next day, there was a nearly identical spider in nearly the same spot. Dad dealt with this one, as well, and I sincerely hoped I would never encounter any more Grandma and Grandpa spiders.

A few years later, I found one in my bedroom on the wall next to my bed. I decided not to risk things and slept in the guest bedroom that night. I was right to do so; the other half of the pair was on my wall when I checked in the morning.