The Cutest Little (Schwarzs)Child (Radius)

I work in a planetarium. We have a large domed room where we project space-themed movies and documentaries for guests. I’m narrating the audience through a piece about black holes.

Me: “And if an astronaut were to be unlucky enough to fall into a black hole, the forces acting on them would be so intense that they would be stretched long and thin. This is a process scientists call — and I’m not kidding here — spaghettification.”

That elicits a chuckle or two. After a few minutes, the presentation is over.

Me: “And that concludes our presentation on the mighty Black Holes! Are there any questions?”

I see an eager hand in the audience shoot straight up. It’s a little boy, maybe four years old. I point to him. He looks nervous at first, but his mother encourages him to speak out.

Boy: “What happens… if… when you go to a black hole… and… it… doesn’t like spaghetti?”

Everyone laughs and the boy looks a bit nervous again. I’m just smiling at the absolute adorableness of the question.

Me: “That’s a good question, little man! Y’see, we know that black holes must like it, because do you remember what I said about how black holes get bigger?

He thinks for a second, but then his eyes go wide.

Boy: “They eat everything up!”

Me: “That’s right! They want to eat everything on their plate! They can even eat stars, which are like big, hot meatballs!”

Boy: *Laughing* “They like meatballs and spaghetti!”

Me: “They make sure they eat up all their food, and then they get bigger. And you know what else gets bigger when it eats up all their food?”

Boy: “What?”

Me: “Little boys!”

The audience chuckled, and I answered a few more questions. As the audience left, the little boy ran up to me with his mom and asked to be in a photo with me. I felt like a famous astronaut for the rest of the day!

Stay curious, little dude!