The Collapse Of The Caffeinated Society

I work in a large metropolitan hospital, and today I’m on the medical emergency team. We get a call from the café downstairs, mostly run by elderly volunteers. A young man was just about to pay when he keeled over backward, hitting his head very hard on the floor.

We’re attending to him right in front of the counter; he is lying on the floor, barely conscious. By this time there is a security guard, two orderlies with a stretcher, two nurses, three doctors, and a crash cart. I’m measuring his blood pressure when suddenly a woman steps right over the unconscious man and goes to ask the horrified café volunteer for a latte, who frantically points at the man.

The security guard has to physically pull her back and ask her to leave. She says, “Oh, okay. Where do I get a coffee, then?”