The Car Wash Needs A Wash

, , , , | Right | March 14, 2020

(Late at night, a customer comes in and makes a quick beeline to our bathroom. Unfortunately, it’s a single stall and currently occupied.)

Me: “Sorry, man, I think someone’s in there right now.”

Customer: “Oh… I guess I’ll grab a pack of cigarettes while I wait.”

(As he makes his way over to the counter, I notice he’s limping and exhaling deeply.)

Customer: “I’m about to piss my pants.”

Me: “Sorry, buddy. I need your ID, though.”

(I watch as he moves very slowly and deliberately to reach his wallet. By the time he’s paid, he’s red in the face and yelling in pain from holding it in. I have no idea what to say and don’t want to embarrass him, so I just thank him deadpan and give him his change. He runs out the door, I presume to find a bush or something. I shouldn’t let him pee just anywhere, but it’s dark and I sympathize, so I pretend he just left. About an hour later, he comes back in.)

Me: “Hey, how’s it going?”

Customer: “Oh, uh, hey…”

(Still not feeling the need to embarrass him, I pretend I don’t remember him or that it never happened. But as he wanders around the store shopping, several times I hear him stifling giggling to himself. He grabs some snacks and makes it back to the counter.)

Me: “Anything else for you?”

Customer: “Naw, that’ll be good.” *giggles*

(I want to ask what happened, but I figure I’ll just let it go if he doesn’t mention it first. However, on the way out the door…)

Customer: “Hey, did you know that your carwash has a huge drain?”

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