(I work at a fast food restaurant that closes at 9:30 pm. A customer comes in just before then, as I am helping close up for the day.)

Customer: “Hi. I ordered an eight-piece fried chicken during my lunch break, and got baked instead.”

Me: “All right, sir. I’m terribly sorry. Do you want a refund or a correct order?”

Customer: “I’d like what I ordered, please. The eight-piece fried chicken meal.”

Me: “Sure, sir. We’re about to close, so at this point at night, we aren’t making the fried chicken anymore.”

Customer: “What? But you’re a fried chicken place!”

Me: “Yes, we are, but we’re also closing for the night.”

Customer: “Okay, so, can I get an order that’s the same amount of money?”

Me: “No problem. I just need the receipt and I can get you that, sir.”

Customer: “The receipt? Oh, I think I threw that away.”

(I look at him apologetically. I cannot correct an order or give a refund without the receipt.)

Me: “What? Sir, I cannot give you your meal without the receipt.”

Customer: “What? It’s just a piece of paper, I had the wrong order earlier and now I want what I paid for!”

Me: “Sir, we fill out hundreds of orders around lunch time and I would not be able to find your order among them.”

Customer: “I WANT MY FRIED CHICKEN!”

Me: “Sir, please lower your voice. We don’t have the fried chicken, and without your receipt I can’t give you a refund.”

Customer: “[Other Fast Food Chain] doesn’t need receipts to give me my food!”

Me: “Sir, I am fairly sure they do. Look, it’s closing time but I can try to look through our computer system to find your order.”

(He suddenly backs down a bit, from menacing to nervous.)

Customer: “No, no, that’s okay. I’ll just go get dinner somewhere else.”

(He leaves quickly. My manager walks over to see what it was about, and after I tell him, he shakes his head.)

Manager: “I’m willing to bet there was no receipt, and he was just after a free meal!”

(During October we have a Halloween costume contest at work. I work at a family-friendly restaurant and my costume is not very revealing. I am in an alcove putting an order into the computer when a customer with an alcoholic beverage in his hand walks up to me and blocks me in the alcove.)

Customer: *looking at my chest* “I just wanted to check.”

(Thinking he wanted to look at my name tag in order to vote for my costume, I turned towards him.)

Customer: *gesturing towards my breasts* “Nice.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “You’re SUPPOSED to say THANK YOU!”

(I greet a table of ten. In the middle of introducing myself this happens:)

Customer: “I have a coupon.”

Me: “Okay, hang on to it. It is applied at the end.”

Customer: “Hang onto it? I don’t have it with me. Is that a problem?”

Me: “So, you want to use a coupon that you don’t have with you?”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you have coupons if you won’t accept them.”

Me: “…”

(I’m an American living and teaching in Japan. I’m currently in line at a fast-food place in the local shopping center behind a middle-aged somewhat stern-looking woman. I’m listening to a YouTube playlist on my cell phone and suddenly the next song is very loud.)

Cell Phone: “Yappappaa! Yappappaa! Ishanten…”

(It’s the first season opening theme song to a very popular anime based on a classic comedy-action manga from the 80s.)

Middle-Aged Woman: *turns slowly to look at me, raises an eyebrow, gives me a nod, and turns back to face forward*

Me: *to myself* “Did I just get a nod of approval?”

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(I’m getting food at a rather well-known fast-food joint that specializes in American-Chinese cuisine. I’ve just finished placing a large order.)

Cashier: “The [dish] is out right now. Would you like something else, or would you like to wait? It’ll be about 10 minutes to make another batch.”

Me: “I’m fine with waiting. Thank you.”

Cashier: “Okay, that’ll be [total]. Can I have your name so I can call you when it’s all ready?”

(I give her my name, pay, and take a step back to wait. About three minutes pass and I notice her walking out to me with a cup.)

Cashier: “Sir, I’m sorry it’s taking so long. Would you like a complimentary drink?”

Me: “Uh… sure, I guess. It’s really no problem though. Only 10 minutes, right?”

Cashier: “Thank you for being so understanding!”

(She hands me the cup and goes back to serving other customers. Another three minutes pass and I notice one of her coworkers is waving me over to the counter.)

Coworker: “We’re really sorry for the wait, sir. Would you like a complimentary order of egg rolls for your trouble?”

Me: “Thank you for the offer, but no. Seriously, I’m really fine with the wait. It’s no problem.”

Coworker: “Okay, then. Just let us know if there’s anything we can do for you.”

(I step back from the counter and wait a few more minutes until the cashier calls my name.)

Cashier: “Here you are, sir! I’m so sorry for the delay, I tossed in a few orders of egg rolls and rangoon because it took so long.”

Me: “Really, that’s very nice, but you didn’t have to do that. You were up-front with the wait time and it took almost exactly what you told me. You really don’t owe me any free food or even the drink.”

(Suddenly it all clicks.)

Me: “People still freak out when they have to wait even after you tell them how long it’s going to be, don’t they?”

Cashier: “You have no idea. Have a great day!”

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