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Sorry, His Thighs Are Tastier Than Yours

| Romantic | November 25, 2011

(One night in bed, my boyfriend rolls over and snuggles against my back. I tend to tease him when he gets affectionate.)

Me: “Are you expressing some carnal desires there, babe?”

Boyfriend: “Mmm…KFC.”

Me: “What?”

Boyfriend: “Oh. Sorry. I thought you said ‘colonel’.”

Caught In A Recession Romance, Part 2

| Romantic | November 21, 2011

(My fiancé had proposed quite recently, so I am admiring my new engagement ring.)

Me: *sighing* “The ring is so beautiful. My fingers are so short and stubby, though.”

Him: “Yeah, I was kind of counting on that to make the ring look bigger.”


No Hopes For Gropes

| Romantic | November 19, 2011

(My new boyfriend and I are lying on the couch watching a movie. He and I are very ticklish, and somehow a tickle-war erupts. I discover he’s VERY ticklish on his pecs.)

Boyfriend: “So, I have a question…is your chest as ticklish as my pecs?”

Me: “You wish, but no.”

Boyfriend: “Damn.”

A Fart From The Heart

| Romantic | November 18, 2011

(Note: I am incredibly short.)

Him: “Hehe, midget…”

Me: “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

Him: “That’s what I say every time I talk about you!”

(He leans over and puts his head on my shoulder.)

Me: “I hope you didn’t come all the way over here for a kiss after that!”

Him: “But I love you! Also, I have a present for you.”

Me: “Oh, really?”

Him: “Yeah!” *farts* “It might be a fart!”

Me: “Oh god, get off me!”

Till Like Do Us Part

| Romantic | November 18, 2011

(We’ve decided to do a low-key marriage, so we’ve hired a guy to do all of the legal paperwork at our home.)

Me: “I do.”

Hubby: “I do.”

(The paperwork guy gets all of the signatures and takes off. I open a bottle of Prosecco and serve it to our witnesses, and find that my new hubby has taken off.)

Me: “What are you doing?!”

Hubby: “I had to update my Facebook relationship status.”

(I tried to be angry, but it was kind of sweet!)