(I’m a freshman at a private college, working in the school cafeteria as a server to help pay for tuition. Tonight has been really busy and since they are short staffed, I amasked to come in and work. Note: The chicken and pot pies run out the fastest.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, I’d like potatoes and two pieces of chicken.”

Me: “Sorry, we’ve been running out of the chicken pretty quickly and it takes the longest to cook. I’m afraid I can only give you one.” *gives him a large piece*

Customer #1: “Look, I just got out of football practice and I need more food!”

Me: *gesturing to line going out the door on my side* “Look behind you. Most of those people are going to want the same exact thing. If we give everyone a lot then we’d run out faster and hold up the line even more.”

Customer #1: “Just give me another one!”

Coworker: “Sir, we’re not giving you another one. Take your food and leave, please.”

Customer #1: “FINE!” *storms out of room*

Customer #2: “Man, what a jerk. Uh, so I know you told him that you can only give out one, but he had received a very large piece. May I have two since the others are very small?”

Coworker: “You’re right; these are very small. Okay, you can have two small ones.”

Customer #2: “Thank you very much, ladies. Have a good night! Let me know if he comes back, I can deal with him.”

(Surprisingly, Customer #1 never returned. We do allow seconds, but he didn’t even come back for that. Maybe he realized that he was being rude. Who knows?)

(Some of my friends want to introduce me to someone they think I will get along with. We are sitting at a table in the dining hall talking and the mathematical constant pi comes up.)

Girl #1: “What is pi anyway?”

Me & Girl #2: *simultaneously* “Pi is 3.1415926535897932384626433832795…”

(About half way through reciting it we both locked eyes and realized we were going to be good friends.)

(It’s my senior year of college. My friends and I are at lunch, discussing what majors and degrees we’re graduating with.)

Me: “I’m getting a B.A. in French.”

Friend #1: “I’m majoring in music, but I don’t know what degree it is.”

Friend #2: “It’s probably a Bachelor of Science.”

Friend #3: “No, it’s a Bachelor of Music, or BMus.”

Friend #2: “Well, I’m majoring in physical education, but I think it’s a BA.”

Me: “Isn’t all education B.S.?”

Everyone: *giggles*

(I meant that I thought all education degrees were Bachelors of Science!)

(My friend is having a bad day. She goes down to the cafeteria to grab a ‘grab-and-go’ sandwich, but there are none. She goes over to the woman at the sandwich counter.)

Friend: “I can’t find any of the grab-and-go sandwiches.”

Employee: *cheerfully* “Oh! I didn’t make any because it was slow.”

Friend: “I wish I didn’t have to do my job when it’s slow.”

(I serve ice cream on a buffet line in the college’s cafeteria. There’s vanilla, chocolate, and twist on the soft serve machine.)

Student: “Can I have some soft serve vanilla ice cream?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we ran out.”

Student: “Oh. Then can I have the twist?”