Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 24

CONTENT WARNING: Gross

I work in one of those national stores where if you have a receipt we pretty much can’t say no to a return or exchange. Very annoying. Around the same time every week this older gentleman brings in the same pair of jeans he had bought the previous week…

Customer: “I need to return these.”

The thing is… he always brings them back soiled with his own s***. Seriously. Sure enough every week he’s back. Same bag. Same s***-filled slacks… looking for an exchange. We’ve had enough and we call the manager.

Me: “He’s back, and yes, it’s the same situation as all those times before.”

Manager: “Well, what do you want me to do about it?”

Me: “We both know there’s god-d*** human waste in there. I’m not touch biological waste, and it’s illegal for you to make me. You deal with it.”

My manager sighs but comes down. He speaks to the customer.

Manager: “Sir, I’m afraid we can’t take this refund.”

Customer: “Nope. You have to. It’s in your ad.”

Manager: “Sir, we have reason to believe that your item is in an… unhygienic state. We cannot accept it in its current state.”

Customer: “Get me the store manager. You will accept this refund.”

The store manager is called. I’m surprised to hear that the store manager has not been made aware of the habits of this repeat customer. In less than a minute he’s stormed down to the customer service desk and glares at the customer:

Store Manager: “Are you the a**hole whose been leaving us with your s***-covered slacks?”

Customer: “That’s irrelevant. You refund any item for any reason, so you will—”

Store Manager: “—we will do nothing if you’re lucky. If you keep pushing you will be unlucky, which means we will ban you from this store and report you to the police for harassment.”

Customer: “You will take these back or I will call corporate and complain.”

Store Manager: “I mean… what kind of grown man can shamelessly s*** himself every week and then bring the slacks back like it’s nothing? You… actually enjoy it don’t you? How sad is your life that you get pleasure from making minimum-wage workers literally deal with your s***?”

The customer looks like he’s about to counter, but he doesn’t know what to say. I don’t think he was expecting the manager to actually refuse him.

Store Manager: “You’re a sick f*** and I don’t want to see you here ever again. If I do I’m calling the police, and all the staff at this location will be told to do the same. Now get out.”

Customer: *Regaining his composure.* “I’m calling your corporate office about this!”

Store Manager: “Do it. I’m literally about to go to my office and beat you to the punch and tell them about what you’ve been doing. At this rate you’ll be banned from every store in the country.”

The customer sputters a bit, but does actually leave. Sadly he leaves his s***ty bag behind, but thankfully our manager dons some gloves and disposes of them.

The store manager actually did call corporate, and told them in very clear words that if they pander to any of his complaints, he will start sending this customer’s returns straight to them for them to deal with.

That customer did not come back.

Related:
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 23
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 22
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 21
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 20
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 19