Hopefully, His Love Isn’t Also Full Of Hot Air
(My boyfriend and I are sitting in bed watching TV. He turns to me with a loving look in his eyes.)
Boyfriend: *burping* “I…LOVE…YOU.”
Me: “Wow. Just wow.”
Relationships, romance, and break-ups!
Rose-Colored Glasses For The Perpetually Classless
(My husband is scraping the ice off of the windshield of our car, while I am sitting inside of it. He takes off his glove and draws a heart shape in the frost on the window with his finger. After he finishes scraping, he gets back into the car.)
Me: “Awww, thanks for the romantic heart drawing!”
Husband: “Oh…well, they were supposed to be balls.”
They Were Also Dee-You-Emm-Bee
(I’m a guy and am at the pub with a couple of friends drinking. A group of five girls calls me over with a hand gesture. As I walk over, they ask me my name and I introduce myself.)
Girl #1: “Hey, would you sleep with her?” *points towards her friend, who we’ll call Girl #2*
Me: “Erm…probably not, no…”
(Girl #2 looks offended while the other girls exchange looks and giggles.)
Girl #2: “What, why not?”
Me: “Well, I’m a little bit gay.”
(There’s a short pause while the group processes this new information. Finally another girl, Girl #3, speaks up.)
Girl #3: “Are you ‘Gee’…”
(She makes a “G” shape with her hands…)
Girl #3: “‘Ay’…”
(She makes an “A” shape with her hands…)
Girl #3: “‘Wye’?”
(She makes a “W” shape with her hands. I have to stop myself from laughing.)
Me: “Yes, but that was a ‘W’ you made.”
(I walk off, leaving them, and head back to my friends.)
Friend: “Dude, they were hot!”
It Was Over Before It Began
College & University |
Romantic
| November 9, 2011
My friend and my new boyfriend are talking. I didn’t pay attention to the beginning of the conversation, but I start listening just in time to hear this.
Friend: “You know you’re never going to win now, right?”
Boyfriend: “Yeah, I stopped winning a while ago. She always wins.”
Me: “I do not always win! I don’t even try to win!”
Friend: *To my boyfriend.* “You’re gonna lose this one, too!”
I’ll Be Your PDA If You Show Me Some PDA
(I’m at the bank with my wife. I approach the information desk to submit some forms.)
Teller: “Good morning sir, do you have your account number?”
Me: “No, I don’t, but I can give you–”
(Without missing a beat, my wife suddenly cuts in and states my entire account number from memory.)
Me: *surprised* “Yes, I do.”