Card Red-Handed
(I notice a man sneak a card into his bag. He then picks out another card and comes to the register. It’s a “Happy Anniversary” card.)
Me: “And the other card?”
Man: “What other card?”
Me: “You slipped it into your bag.”
Man: “I didn’t!”
Me: “You did. Want me to show you the security feed?”
Man: “Um…”
(He reluctantly takes the second card out. It has “To My Love” on the cover.)
Man: “Shh…please don’t tell my wife. I’ll pay separately, but destroy the second receipt.”
(Sadly–but not surprisingly–his mistress’s card was more expensive than his wife’s.)