(I am in Michigan for a family vacation, and one of my younger cousins and I are at the park with her father and three year old sister. We are heading to the ladies’ room when she pushes the door open and yells.)

Cousin: “If there are any serial killers in here, I’m sorry!”

(I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself before making it into the stall.)

(I am on my first date with my future husband, which includes his 10-year-old son. I am nervous about him liking me even though we have all known each other for years. I was always just a friend to his dad, but now I am ‘more than friends’. We all go to our local theme park for the day.)

Boyfriend: “Okay, I’ll go get us some mini donuts. I’ll meet you both at the next ride!”

Boyfriend’s Son and Me: “Okay!”

(His son grabs my hand, much to my surprise.)

Boyfriend’s Son: “Come on! Let’s run! Race with me!”

(He pulls my hand to get me to run and because I’m eager to please him I chase him. Just when we get really running he turns around and starts yelling.)

Boyfriend’s Son: “HELP! STRANGER! SHE’S CHASING ME!”

(We did end up getting along famously, but he still loves a good prank.)

(My grandma lives by herself, and I try to go by to see her as often as possible. I knew that she had gone to see the doctor the day before, but I was not aware that it was anything more than just a check-up.)

Me: “How did your doctor’s appointment go?”

Grandma: “It weren’t no d*** doctor appointment! It was a colonoscopy!”

Me: “Oh… um…”

(Grandma starts coughing.)

Me: “Are you okay?”

Grandma: “Yeah, they just shoved that thing all the way up to my tonsils!”

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(We’re outside by my aunt’s pool at the annual family barbecue. Among us is my athletic male cousin.)

Grandma: “[Cousin] is pretty hot. He could make a lot of money as a male stripper.”

Me: “I’m going to pretend I didn’t just hear that.”

(My family is going through some photo albums of my sister and I as babies. My mom comes across a picture of me.)

Sister: “Oh my God. You had the biggest head.”

Me: “My head wasn’t that big, was it?”

Mom: “Actually, it was. You may not remember this, but your head was so big and heavy that you used to topple over because your body couldn’t balance the weight. We even tried to counter-balance you with pillows!”

(My entire family is now in hysterics.)

Mom: “And then, your sister had to sit next to you all the time and push your head back up so you wouldn’t fall off the couch!”

Sister: “I can just imagine what little baby-you was thinking!” *goes into a baby voice* “Oh, no! I’m falling over! Oh, no! Oh, no!” *pokes my head* “Oh, yay! The magic finger saved me again! Thank you, magic finger!”