Pasta Her Prime

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Related | January 17, 2012

Mom: “Can you get the lasagne out of the oven?”

(I do so, and see that it is penne covered in cheese.)

Me: “This isn’t lasagne. It’s penne.”

Mom: “Oh, any pasta baked in the oven is called lasagne!”

Your Own Slice Of The Birthday Action

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Related | January 17, 2012

(My dad’s birthday is five days before mine. We are having some of his left-over cake the day after his birthday.)

Mom: “We’ll need to go and pick up a cake for Sue’s birthday.”

Dad: “What for? We still have plenty of mine left.”

(Mom got me the cake.)

Welcome To Florid-Eh

| New Zealand | Related | January 17, 2012

(I am sitting at home, watching TV. My sister is chatting to her boyfriend online.)

Sister: “My boyfriend knows English quite well, considering he’s only lived in New Zealand for a year.”

Me: “Where’s he from?”

Sister: “Florida.”

Me: *pause* “Where do you think Florida is?”

Sister: “Ca…na…da?”

Phone Lines Are Stronger Than Family Lines

| Birmingham, England, UK | Related | January 16, 2012

(My brother and I are the only siblings in the family.)

Me: *calling home* “Hi, is Dad there?”

Brother: “Who is it, please?”

Me: *pause* “Rebecca?”

Brother: “Who? Oh, wait. Yeah, he’s here.”

Tainted Love

| Dublin, Ireland | Related | January 16, 2012

(I am in an airport bathroom, and I overhear a conversation in some adjoining cubicles.)

Daughter: “Mummy, how much do you love me?”

Mother: “Oh, more than anything, sweetheart.”

Daughter: “More than anything in the world?”

Mother: “Yes, definitely.”

Daughter: “Mummy, how long have you loved me?”

Mother: “Forever. Since before you were even born.”

(Lengthy pause.)

Daughter: “Mummy, I pooed on the seat.”

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