A Thick-Skinned Family

| Rochester, NY, USA | Related | February 11, 2012

(My family is eating dinner. We have eight microwavable potato skins, so the plan is we all get two.)

Sister: “Hey, who gets the last potato skin?”

Mom: “It’s mine, but you can have it.”

Me: “Can we split-”

(Before I can finish, my sister shovels down half the potato skin. We all stare at her a moment. She looks at the potato skin, then at me.)

Sister: *holding up half-eaten potato skin* “Want it?”

X-tra Marital Rays

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Related | February 11, 2012

(My aunt slipped and fell down some stairs. I take her to the hospital. I am 24 and she is 39. Following her x-rays, I wheel her back to the patient room. I forget to bring some paperwork from the x-ray labs so I run back to grab them. I return to her room.)

Aunt: “While you were gone, the nurse came into the room and asked me, ‘where is your husband?’. I informed her that you’re my nephew and not my husband. The nurse said, ‘that’s too bad, you looked like a cute couple’.”

Me: “That would explain why the nurse didn’t inform me that the shot you received would be to your rear end until she was already doing it.”

Studies In Group Misbehavior 101

| NY, USA | Related | February 10, 2012

(Me, my boyfriend, and his mother are sitting in their living room watching TV. He asks if me and his friend could come over to watch a movie the following weekend.)

Boyfriend: “So, [friend] and [my name] want to watch TV here this Saturday. Is that okay?”

His mother: “Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll be out all day, though, so you have to behave yourselves.”

Boyfriend: *to me, jokingly* “Now we can’t have the group activity we planned.”

His mother: “Your father and I had too many of those, anyway.”

Caught Red Kidney Bean Handed

| Erie, PA, USA | Related | February 10, 2012

(We’re seated around the kitchen table, as my dad talks about a cream vegetable dish he has made.)

Dad: “…there are more kidney beans. I hid them in the sauce.”

Daughter: *greatly shocked* “Daddy, why would you hide a thing like that from your family?!”

Hymn No. 2

| Sydney, Australia | Related | February 10, 2012

(My daughter, who is 3 years old, and I are at church. This is a very small church, and everyone is praying silently.)

Daughter: “Mum, I need to go to the toilet.”

(I get up and starts quietly walking her out the back.)

Daughter: *singing as she skips along, in earshot of the whole church* “Poo, poo, poo, poo, poo!”

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