Me: “Babe, if I got bit by a zombie, what would you do?”
Husband: “I’d let you bite me so I could always be with you.”
Me: “Aw, really?”
Husband: “H*** no! I don’t wanna be a zombie!”
(I laugh.)
Husband: “And let’s face it. If there’s a zombie apocalypse, you’re getting bit.”
(My boyfriend and I love horror movies, and are both die-hard fans of ‘The Walking Dead’.)
Me: “Babe, if there’s a zombie apocalypse and I get turned, would you kill me?”
Boyfriend: “Nah, I’d pull a ‘Michonne’ so I could keep you with me. You’d be protecting me then.”
Me: *hugs him tight* “This is why I love you! I had the same plan!”
(Michonne is a character who has two zombies that she keeps as ‘pets’, by removing their arms and lower jaws.)
(My fiancé and I decide to have a little bit of fun, and I ask him the ever-famous zombie apocalypse question.)
Me: “Imagine that the zombie apocalypse started, and I got infected. What would you do?”
Fiancé: “I’d make the last few moments of your life the most wonderful you’ve ever had. Then I’d bind you up with explosives before you passed. Once you had turned, I would throw you off the roof into a group of zombies, and detonate the explosives when they came to investigate. What would you do?”
Me: “Your idea sounds appealing, but then I’d feel like I was desecrating your corpse. However, that would help me live in the long run. I could also see the fun in chaining you up in the backyard as a pet zombie, but that almost seems a bit cruel. Also, depending on how painful the ‘zombie-fication’ is, and how sentient one would be after becoming a zombie, I could also see myself purposefully turning into a zombie as well. That way we could terrorize the living together forever, or until some stupid survivor came along and shot us. But then again, that could mean turning into a monstrosity with nothing but murderous instincts, unless I was somehow able to maintain a sense of etiquette and morals, and choose to eat steak instead of brains…”
Fiancé: “… I love you.”
(My boyfriend and I are watching a zombie show.)
Me: “Hey babe, what would you do if I got bitten by a zombie?”
Boyfriend: “I would have to kill you. I would break the one rule though.”
Me: “What rule is that?”
Boyfriend: “I would wait until you change to kill you. I would want to spend as much time as I could with the actual you before killing zombie you.”
Me: “Aww, that’s actually really sweet!” *stares at his head deliciously* “I wonder if your brain is just as sweet as you are…”
(My husband and I are reading the ‘Till Undeath Do Us Part’ stories.)
Me: “Hey, if I got bitten by a zombie, would you still love me?”
Husband: “Yes?”
Me: “Would you shoot me?”
Husband: “That depends. What do you think I should do?”
Me: “Wait, no. If you were a zombie first and I wasn’t, you should bite me so we can be zombies together forever! We could easily make it to our 100th anniversary!”
Husband: “But you know what we have to do first? Wear our wedding clothes. What could be more awesome than zombie bride and groom?”
Me: “This is why I love you.”
