Noted: Don’t Mess With This Human Resources Guy

Many years ago, I (female) was hired at a bookstore as my first job. On my first day, I was introduced to another woman [Coworker], who was hired at roughly the same time and was also on her first day. [Coworker]’s wrinkled face and gray hair said she was old enough to be my grandmother, but her posture, energy, and ability to lift a giant box of books said that she neither needed nor wanted to retire; I found myself thinking that I wanted to be like [Coworker] when I was in my old age.

By the end of the day, I had discovered that, no, I don’t want to be ANYTHING like [Coworker].

That first day alone, [Coworker] found no less than eight different things to insult about me. At this point, the only one I clearly remember was my multicolour dyed hair “making me look like a freak”. She proceeded to continue to insult me every time I was in earshot for the whole first work week. This being my first job, I vastly underestimated my rights as a worker, and started to think that maybe this was just what the working world is like.

Then, [Coworker] and I got called in to meet with Human Resources. [HR Guy] observed that other workers had mentioned [Coworker]’s harassment toward me. [Coworker] argued that, for instance, I “shouldn’t dye my hair like a freak if I don’t want to be treated like a freak” and other such comments along those lines.

She finished up by claiming:

Coworker: “I don’t have to be polite to people who act like trash.”

Once she’d finished, [HR Guy] opened up a file that had been sitting on his desk throughout this whole exchange.

HR Guy: “[Coworker], you’re single, right?”

Coworker: “Huh?”

HR Guy: “It says in your file that you’re not married or engaged, and you have no children. You’re living by yourself, you have no disability benefits, and you left the ’emergency contact’ field blank; a note here says that you don’t have any living relatives, so you have no one to contact?”

I recognized all of these fields as information we were asked to provide when we were hired, though I was confused about why he was bringing all this up with me in the room.

Coworker: “What does that have to do with anything?”

HR Guy: “I’m just curious why you seem so intent on making enemies when there’s no one to miss you.”

Chills ran down MY spine when he said that. I couldn’t even imagine how [Coworker] must have been feeling.

[HR Guy] proceeded to lecture [Coworker] about her needless hostility, and he informed her that [Bookstore] would not tolerate it before making it clear that if she continued in her behaviour, she would “never set foot in [Bookstore] again”, even as a customer.

[Coworker] stepped out of the room, and I took a moment to try and find my voice.

Me: “Did… you just threaten to…?”

HR Guy: “All I did was make some observations and then promise to ban her from the store if she kept behaving the way she does. How she chose to interpret those statements is up to her.”

The next day, I found that [Coworker] had quit. My other coworkers made a point that I should never let workplace hostility escalate to that point again, and I soon grew to love working at [Bookstore].