(Sometimes, when we’re tired, my boyfriend and I slip into baby talk, and it gets weird.)

Me: *trying to scare him* “BOO!”

Boyfriend: “Ah…”

Me: *pouty* “Were you a scared?”

Boyfriend: *in real voice* “A scared? You mean like one scared?”

Me: *still in baby voice* “Yes. I need you to be at least two scareds! How can I scare you?”

Boyfriend: “You’d have to do better than that.”

(I put three fingers up like claws, and grab his face.)

Me: “Rawr! Velociraptor!”

Boyfriend: “Ahh!”

Me: “Were you two scareds?”

Boyfriend: “You attacked me pretending to be a velociraptor, talking in a baby voice. That’s got to be the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

(My husband and I enjoy playing an alternate version of Dungeons and Dragons. In this game, a 20-sided die called a d20 is used to determine the outcome of events. Also, characters usually have stats between 7-20 at first level, with 10 being average. We have just been talking about building new characters.)

Me: “Well my sexiness score is like, 30.”

Boyfriend: “That would be charisma, and no, it isn’t.”

Me: “Hey, you know what we should do? We should roll for random encounter sexy times!”

Boyfriend: “What?”

Me: “We could roll a d20 and add my sexiness modifier.”

Boyfriend: “That’s not how random encounters work. We’d need to roll percentage dice.”

Me: “And then we’d need a table of actions! Hey, do you still have that dice-roller app?”

Boyfriend: “Yes…we’re not doing this.”

Me: “Yes we are! I cast ‘charm person’. Now you like me and you have to do it.

(My little brothers and I are being silly. They are eight and eleven. I’m thirteen.)

Eleven year old: *in a joking voice* “Where do babies come from?”

Eight year old: *completely serious* “Well, when a man and woman make out for a whole hour, the woman gets pregnant, and has to go to the hospital and they have a baby!”

Eleven year old: “What? That’s not how it works. You see—”

Me: “Let’s just leave it at that.”

(I am in Michigan for a family vacation, and one of my younger cousins and I are at the park with her father and three year old sister. We are heading to the ladies’ room when she pushes the door open and yells.)

Cousin: “If there are any serial killers in here, I’m sorry!”

(I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself before making it into the stall.)

(I am on my first date with my future husband, which includes his 10-year-old son. I am nervous about him liking me even though we have all known each other for years. I was always just a friend to his dad, but now I am ‘more than friends’. We all go to our local theme park for the day.)

Boyfriend: “Okay, I’ll go get us some mini donuts. I’ll meet you both at the next ride!”

Boyfriend’s Son and Me: “Okay!”

(His son grabs my hand, much to my surprise.)

Boyfriend’s Son: “Come on! Let’s run! Race with me!”

(He pulls my hand to get me to run and because I’m eager to please him I chase him. Just when we get really running he turns around and starts yelling.)

Boyfriend’s Son: “HELP! STRANGER! SHE’S CHASING ME!”

(We did end up getting along famously, but he still loves a good prank.)